"The Secret" in Romantic Relationships

Everywhere you turn these days, someone is talking about "The Secret". I knew it was definitely in the mainstream when Saturday Night Live recently did a skit on it! However, the law of attraction is not really a "secret". I've known about it for almost 10 years and have occasionally mentioned it in my writings. When I first found out about it, I felt as if I'd been given the key to life on earth. Since that fateful day, I've manifested everything from a soup spoon to money, trips to Hawaii and my current vehicle.

"The Secret" is not just about manifesting material objects. You can also use it to attract a partner into your life or improve your relationship with a partner you already have. The key to the law of attraction is that you use your feelings more than your thoughts, to create. Feelings are feminine, thoughts are masculine. Females give birth (create), not males.

If you are looking for a partner, make a list of the qualities you would like in that partner. Be very specific, because the universe takes things literally. Be sure to include qualities such as: single (you don't want to manifest someone that has everything you want only to find out they're already attached), heterosexual/homosexual (depending on your orientation), financially stable (you don't want someone that is one step away from living in their car), faithful, lives within (fill in the blank) miles of you and is ready for a committed relationship (they may be perfect, but if they're not ready, it's not going to happen).

The next step is to clear a space for that person in your life. I find the best way to do this is to make sure your bed is free of clutter when you go to sleep at night. As you lay there, imagine that they are lying beside you. How would you feel if the man/woman of your dreams was sleeping next to you? That thought should instantly make you smile. Feel the fulfillment of your desire. Love that person, even though you have no idea who they are.

You should not be thinking of a specific person. You will be interfering with another's free will and it will backfire. I once used this technique on someone I was seeing who did not want to sleep over (hard to believe, I know). My visualization worked, but the reason he was now sleeping over was because he had been evicted and had no place else to go. These were not the circumstances under which I wanted him in my bed. I lost respect for him and eventually relegated him to the couch.

If you're already in a relationship and are unhappy about something your partner does, the last thing you want to do is focus on it. What you focus on expands. By constantly complaining about it to your partner, yourself and anyone that will listen, you continue to give it life. Instead, focus on what you want. Create a scene in your mind of how you want your relationship to look and feel the fulfillment of it.

Lucia is a dating and relationship expert, syndicated columnist, keynote speaker, author of "Lucia's Lessons of Love" and host of "The Art of Love" radio show. She's appeared on Dr. Phil, The CBS Early Show, 60 Minutes Australia, The Tyra Banks Show, E! Entertainment, The KTLA Morning Show and numerous radio shows across the U.S. and Canada

For more information go to: Lucia's Lessons of Love

Contact: lucia@theartoflove.net