# 1: The only difference between a love relationship and a friendship is intimacy. Ask yourself: With my current partner am I living in a friendship or a love relationship?

# 2: Personal evolution: Relationship is the fastest way to personally evolve. Your partner has VIP access to your hot buttons. Once you are past the honeymoon period you will be pushing each other's buttons, whether you like it or not, for the purpose of growth and expansion of who you are.

# 3: Knowing one another: The basis of a sound relationship is to know another. It is not about what you know from the past, it is about what you discover freshly every day. Are you referencing your partner through past experience or through what is showing up in the present?

# 4: Affection: Do not assume your spouse knows you love and admire him or her. You need to communicate it frequently. Especially (but not only) in a volatile marriage affection is the key to marital happiness.

#5: Conflict: A lasting relationship results from a couple's ability to resolve the conflicts that are inevitable in a relationship.

#6: Communicate: Do not assume anything - even after years of being together there is no benefit in assuming. Ask, talk, communicate, and get to know each other freshly each day. Let yourself be surprised!

#7: Growth: Relationships are here to help us grow beyond the comfort zones we currently inhabit. Especially intimate relationships will inevitably become your biggest teacher if you are willing to be a continuous student.

#8: 'Self' versus 'We': An actualized relationship can be measured at the amount of allowing of 'self' in relation to 'we'. Are you allowing yourself to have your opinion, your position etc or are you keeping things to yourself, letting them go etc for fear of rocking the boat of the relationship?

#9: Criticism: Saying what bothers you about your partner might wear the relationship down when done constantly. It can erode intimacy and connection. Try sharing what you appreciate and admire for a change...

#10: Give-and-take: Relationships require give-and-take, but a problem arises when one partner does more than his/her fair share of giving in and going along in a relationship. Find your voice and 'voice' your needs.

Want to know more? Have a look at my blog.

Nathalie Himmelrich is the founder of 'Reach for the Sky Therapy' on Sydney's Northern Beaches and specialises in 'relationship related issues'. She is working with individuals and couples using techniques ranging from Counselling, Neuro Linguistic Programming to Journey Therapy. She supports clients in their personal growth in a supportive and professional environment.

Visit my website: http://www.reachforthesky.com.au or visit my blog: http://reachforthesky.wordpress.com and sign up for our newsletter today.

Today, I want to talk with you about two types of relationships that sometimes get confused. Relationships are a vital part of all of our lives. When our relationships are prospering then we are prospering. When our relationships are challenged, then so is our lives.

The first relationship we want to discuss today is one between Adult Children - Parent Relationship. You have probably heard it said to "Honor our mothers and fathers." and for children to "Obey their mothers and fathers." This is where some people get confused. Honoring and obeying are not the same thing. When we are adults, we don't have to obey our parents, we have to honor them. Honor does not mean doing everything our parents' want. Honor means supporting them. Honor means listening to them. Honor means not forgetting them. Honor means respecting them. Honor means sharing our lives with them. Honor means taking care of them if they need help. Honor means being a friend to them. Honor means...LOVING THEM!

The second relationship we want to talk about today is Brother to Brother or Sister to Sister. Now, I am not talking about siblings. All of us need friends of the same sex. We need those nights playing basketball with the guys or those chats with the girls. There are times that it is more comfortable sharing and discussing certain topics with someone of the same sex. Many times they will understand more clearly where you are coming from then someone of the opposite sex.

Relationships: The power to focus our lives. Let me leave you today with a story. One day, a lady (let's call her Sally), her husband, and their youngest son walked into a McDonald's restaurant. The couple was looking forward to spending some quality time alone with their son. As they were waiting in line for their food, all of a sudden all the people around them began to back away. Even Sally's husband backed away. Turning to see what all the commotion was about, Sally saw something she was not expecting. A sickening smell enveloped her. Directly behind her were two homeless men. The poor men probably had not bathed in days. One of the homeless men was smiling. He said, "Good day." He was counting the few coins he had in his possession. Sally noticed that his companion was mentally handicapped. Sally realized that this kind man had taken his companion under his wing.

When the two men got to the counter, they ordered only a coffee. It was all they could afford. All they wanted was to come in out of the cold. In order to sit in the restaurant they had to order something. The two men got their coffee and found a place to sit.

Compassion filled Sally's heart. She ordered two more breakfasts and walked up to the two men. Sally set down the tray and laid her hand on the first man's hand. He looked up with tears in his eyes and said, "Thank you." Sally looked at the man and with a heart full of love said, "I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope." Let us all give more hope today in all our relationships.

I would now like to invite you to receive a Free Preview of my inspirational book "Power Nuggets". You can receive it and sign up for our Free The Empower Newsletter at Corporate Training

From Mark Bowser of http://www.MarkBowser.com Thanks for reading today.

1. Commence with the commitment to make the marriage work.

2. Realize that you deceived each other in the courtship process and practice the skill of forgiving. While you were courting, you always put your best foot forward in order to accomplish your objective: marriage to the one you were courting. For this reason, you probably agreed to almost everything. Fortunately, you can overcome the problems that arise when you reveal those deceptions with a strong commitment and by recognizing that you not only want the marriage to work but also want to nurture it.

3. Endeavor at verbalizing your true feelings without taking punitive action against your mate. Say that you and your spouse swap cars, and when you switch back, you find that your mate has returned your car with the gas tank almost empty. Punitive action would be returning your mate's car with an empty tank the next time in order to get even. Instead, pleasantly say to your mate, "Honey, you may have noticed that when I use your car, I return it at least half full of gasoline. I would really appreciate it if you would show me the same courtesy." Chances are superb that if you handle the situation gently, lovingly, and with a big hug and smile, your mate will love you for it.

4. Build the skill of courteousness. Building the skill of courteousness is good advice for husbands and wives to follow. Discourtesy is really disrespect; you're seldom discourteous to anyone you truly respect. Marriage counselors say that one thing lacking in many poor marriages is genuine respect for each other. In marriage, we are often more discourteous than we are in friendships or in business relationships. Venting your anger in marriage and thinking that doing so costs nothing is irresponsible. Hurt relations always cost, especially in intimate relationships.

5. Junkthe words always and never from your vocabulary - as in "you always do this" or "you never do that." Those statements aren't true, and they can elicit nothing but a defensive retort from your life partner.

6. Work at looking for the good in your mate and work on finding the humor in problems. Many couples report that, in the midst of a heated argument, something hilarious happens or is said, perhaps an interruption by a child or an innocent but appropriate remark that hits the funny bone. At any rate, the anger immediately dissipates and laughter sets in - not at each other but with each other.

7. Keep in mind that your mate is not a mind reader. Many couples expect each other to know that they really don't enjoy being kidded about their expanding waistline, their receding hairline, their inability to wake up instantly, their dislike of sloppiness, or their need for support and encouragement about a specific thing. But you need to gently tell your mate what your needs are. He or she can't read your mind. Resentment builds within you if your mate doesn't meet a need or conducts himself or herself in a way that displeases you, but he or she may not have a clue as quandary bestting you.

Joey Plazo is passionate about executive coaching and attracting women to the world of NLP. He aids folks find obs in the Philippines .

In life, people make mistakes. Even the married couples are not spared because marriage is not all smooth sailing as in any other relationship. And so we hear stories about how two people fall in love with each other, eventually get into a serious relationship, get married until they find themselves in serious conflict with each other after a few months or years. The worse that can happen is they separate and decide to get a divorce.

Being in a relationship is not that easy. And sometimes when the people involved make mistakes, the relationship can be adversely affected. It's the same thing with marriage. When spouses commit mistakes and they fail to settle their issues, they can become unhappy and decide to quit. Separating, however, can be devastating particularly if the husband and wife have already invested years of emotions, love and security in their marriage.

It would be a good idea then to learn what these common mistakes are so you can avoid them. This is whether you're married now or are still planning to tie the knot in the coming weeks or months.

One of these relationship mistakes is being dishonest to your partner. If you're not open with your other half about who you really area, don't expect him or her to be honest with you as well. When you get married, eventually you'll get to know your spouse on a deeper level as you live together through the years. So right from the start, it's best to be just your natural self with no pretensions.

Not sharing your sentiments with your significant other is another thing. While this is common among men, women are guilty of this as well. Men often tend to keep to themselves when they are having emotional problems. Perhaps it's their nature to close themselves off so people and especially their wives won't think that they're weak just because they're crying or sulking. Society believes that boys don't cry the reason why they don't have to show their weak side.

But this should not be so. Keep in mind that you and your partner made a vow to stick together through good times and bad. As such, your other half needs to know as well what you're going through. So don't be ashamed to share whatever emotions you're feeling as this could actually make you closer together. Whether it's about work, family or friends that bother you, be open about it.

Still another mistake to avoid is neglecting yourself. Yes, you may be married to the person of your dreams but it doesn't mean that you'll have to take yourself for granted. What this means is you have to maintain your old friendships, your hobbies and interests. Remember that you have your own individual personality before you tied the knot and that doesn't have to change.

Whatever hobby or sport you're into, you can continue doing it and you don't have to force your spouse to engage in it. Allowing yourself to do this will give you more confidence, strength and security as an individual.

If you're able to avoid these mistakes, you have a greater chance of enjoying a satisfying marriage moving forward.

For helpful tips and information on marriage and family, visit TheMarriageCounselingBlog.com.

A true Facebook story:

I've recently read on Facebook the following status: "I've decided to stop with FB. This is my last status. Goodbye friends" .

And guess what! This guy has received tens of responses asking him, pleading with him, begging him not to stop. The end result: this guy not only didn't close his Facebook page, but began sending even more statuses than before, thanking everybody for their concern and encouragement, for their love and attention, and promising hem to have decided to stay with Facebook and with them...

The moral of the story:

Facebook can be a wonderful tool via which to receive attention, love, confirmation and approval. Everything you've always wanted to receive from "real friends" - and more!

Facebook provides us the love and attention we need

We all seek love and attention. This is normal and natural. And getting love, attention and approval on FB is easy and pleasing: your friends "like" your statuses; they respond affirmatively to what you write; they show you love and appreciation; they express concern to your well being (all of which is at times different from the reactions you receive from your spouse, parents or other face-to-face friends...).

All these feel so good! So comforting! There is (usually) no confrontation; no negation. Everybody responds so kindly, driving you to place more statuses and receive even more attention, praise, encouragement. You are "nice" to others by commenting affirmatively on their statuses and by indicating you "like" their statuses. They reciprocate the same. It all feels so connecting, so friendly. You feel you "belong" to a group. You are like "everybody else". You are "trendy".

And at the same time you can be lonely and anonymous - yet have many "friends" who interact with you. With them you can be "intimate". They don't ask you for nothing and don't require a thing. The more statuses you place, the more "like" and positive affirmations you receive.

The virtual world of Facebook

But is it really what you want from a real friend? Wouldn't you prefer to receive honest and true feedback which will help you move forward with whichever issues you struggle with? With whom you will be able to sincerely and authentically talk about your true self, your fears and needs, aspirations and fantasies, commitment and intimacy issues?

Facing yourself via Facebook can tell you much about yourself

An unfamiliar advantage of FB - from which you can benefit considerably - is to use your interactions on FB and your attitudes about these interactions to gaining insights and understanding yourself better.

The best way to doing so is to face yourself with questions such as:

* Which needs drive you to spend time on FB and be so thrilled about your interactions with your FB friends (for example: need for love and attention; need to escape your loneliness; need for affirmation)?
* Which fears enable you to make "friends" on FB easier than real-life ones (for example: fear of rejection; fear of intimacy; fear of commitment; fear of not being appreciated)?
* Which parts of yourself you feel free to reveal on FB which you don't in your daily interactions? Do you present on FB "who you really are" or pretend to be someone you are not?
* And other questions like these.

There is a lot you can learn about yourself as you observe yourself interacting with others on Facebook. Make the best of it - and become empowered to find love and develop successful relationships!

Doron Gil, Ph.D., an expert on Self-Awareness and Relationships, is the author of: "The Self-Awareness Guide to a Successful Intimate Relationship" Available as eBook and paperback: http://www.amazon.com/Self-Awareness-Guide-Successful-Intimate-Relationship/dp/143925141X/

Dr. Gil is a university teacher, workshop leader, counselor and consultant. He has taught classes on Self-Awareness and Relationships to thousands of students, lectured widely on these and related topics at conferences world-wide, and trained physicians, managers, school teachers and parents on how to develop Self-Awareness in order to improve their personal and professional relationships.

As scientifically and technologically progressive we are as a human race, the most important issue screaming for advancement is our current pattern of connecting and bonding with others. Statistically, 6 out of 10 marriages fail; others remain intact by supporting hidden agendas, and single people move in and out of relationships like a revolving door. There must come a time when we seek to expand our mind and our self out of conventional models of relating. Although convention need not be rejected since it is culturally/root based, the exploration of how we feel, and subsequent expansion of how we think is of greater service to us when we challenge our current views and consider healthy alternatives as we attract or invite others into our emotional environment.

Most often we think of a "relationship" in terms of romance and finding a mate. But there are other relationships we have in a lifetime: relationships defined by situations and circumstances (family, work, acquaintances) and relationships more consciously cultivated (friends and lovers). It is part of our experience to have a variety of human connections and interactions in our life; however we are prone to experience conflict between our situational relationships and those we choose. The reason is this; we usually separate our self in each relationship, acting out roles in an effort to keep us "safe" which will inhibit our natural and authentic self in the process.

Since we seem to be attracted to relationships of romance (searching for our missing half), let's look at main components/criteria in which we currently model; then explore alternative ways to enhance our experience.

Culturally we are encouraged and often pressured to find someone to share our life with; a soul mate. The motivation is usually a push from our family to get married and have children, or propelled socially/culturally by our peers because finding a mate is "what we do". This is troublesome because we feel pressured at a subconscious level and therefore look, seek, and search desperately for a partner. Our feeling is we "need" a mate and as a result we're going to make unconscious choices from our familial experiences and conditioning (how our parents/caregivers connected initially, the tone of their relationship, the ideals we create about family or romance based on positive and negative experiences, social norms, etc... ). All these factors come into play as we create yet another role/mask to become more attractive to our potential mate.

As common romantic scenarios go, two people meet, are physically attracted to each other (a lure for men and women alike); eyes lock, pheromones fly, smiles and gestures indicate attraction, and perhaps engaging conversation takes place. One to several dates later (maybe less) sexual intimacy seals the deal in what now qualifies as a romantic, love, and/or intimate relationship.

Interestingly enough, this is not the beginning of our romance. The relationship began when we set our intention to meet someone for this purpose: love, romance, intimacy, sex. By the time we meet someone, we are already midway through the romantic relationship process. This is because we have subconsciously or even consciously created a set of standards for this person to follow based on our story/past, our ideal, and ultimately our lie about the person we've chosen.

Oddly enough, a love story relationship like this can last a lifetime, a day or night time or somewhere in between. Our conventional/customary thought process accepts and supports this style of "love" relationship through multiple online dating sites, coupled with a climbing divorce rate as we change in and out of relationships like costumes in a play. Aspects of "conventional" are defined as "artificial" and "stereotype", which engenders us to live unnaturally and continue unhealthy cycles. Conflict and contradiction plague this model of relating due to the urgency we feel in "being with someone." How can we improve our ability to relate? Let's try friendship.

Friendship develops when we have a natural affinity for someone. It manifests from an innate sense of knowing, likeness, and trust, exclusive of sexual or family bonds; it is foundational in truly bonding with another. We do this as very young children, energetically bonding with others absent of superficial motives. But as we grow older, the pressures of our environment (our home and peers) begin to taint and affect our innocence in connecting; and our ego drive of survival and safety replaces our natural curiosity (innocence). We then create associations based on how others can meet our needs, reinforce our addictive patterns, and "co-sign our bullshit", instead of simply setting out to discover "who is this person?", and better yet "who am I when I am with this person?"

Acquaintances and networks more accurately fit into a category of what others can do for us, and is not to be confused with friendship. There is an emotional bond in friendship that acquaintances lack. Acquaintances are much more functional in our life, usually linked to abilities and specialties we haven't cultivated in this life (like doctors, lawyers, handy people, etc.) We loosely use the term "friend" in associating with others, when acquaintance is much more relevant. It is less likely that we have 150+ "friends" on social network sites; really, we have about four (4), and that's really good!

There are those of us who have lots of friends, and those of us who have none. What defines our ability to be a friend is emotional availability, commitment, and an understanding and acceptance of our emotional body that opens us to others. Trust is perhaps the main component of friendship. If that is damaged, most friendships suffer. But trust is not encompassed in our friends, but solely within our self. We must be willing to share our true nature with others and risk the vulnerability of bonding in order to feel, deal, and heal our emotional, mental, and spiritual body. This applies to all genders.

In the minds of most men and women exists a perception that the opposite sex cannot be friends due to heterosexual attraction that seems to pervade platonic relating. Platonic relating is that of a spiritual nature. It is seeing the spiritual and ideal beauty of another transcending beyond the physical. It is true love. So, why wouldn't we strive for platonic love? Because we're attached to getting our needs met and through satisfying our desires. This outward striving depletes our inner reservoir of peace.

To truly move into new realms of relating, we must be willing to explore our inner workings (how we feel) and identify the current patterns of our engagement with others. Through emotional awareness, we will understand our feelings and identify what drives our decisions. From there we can make healthier choices and new friends to support our growth. Old friends and/or the opposite sex can join us in our ascent towards higher consciousness.

The adventure to bond and understand others only manifests through our own journey in discovering who we are. As we travel the vast landscape of our inner self, we will invite others to show us who we are. Whether an "ally" or "enemy", we'll discover that our relationships are our creations which can be redefined at any moment... and that moment is just a conscious choice away.

For more information or to discuss this topic one-on-one, please contact Julia George of Aquarian Age @ 561-750-9292, or email aquarianagegallery@bellsouth.net or post comments at http://blog.aquarianawareness.com