Want more intimacy with your existing partner?

The spiritual pitbull talks about intimacy. Into Me See. His guess is you mean you want more affection, touch, time and focus from your partner. And in extreme cases, more physical intimacy in the form of sex. What pushes a person away? Lets do a check list.

1/ The first thing that we need to look at is whether you are barking up the wrong tree. Is your partner with you because they love and admire and care for you, or because you are the person they made a commitment to, or because you are the parent of their child?

2/ Are you expecting someone to treat you better than you treat yourself? How do you feel when you are alone? Are you so off purpose in your life, filled with the wrong priorities and therefore totally dependent on your relationship for your happiness. You know that nobody can treat you better than you treat yourself. So, maybe, the gift of lack of intimacy with your lover is showing you that you are off track in your own life.

3/ The secret that draws people close to you, is romance and the key to romance is a single word. Wow. Wow means "I really like you" wow means "I appreciate you" Wow means "you are the best" Wow means "thank you" - so, instead of waiting for Christmas or valentines day, why not make today, the best day.

4/ I know he said 3 but here's the last one. It's sensitive, and politically incorrect but have you looked in the mirror lately, smelt your breath, looked at your undies, held your sox to your nose? When we first meet someone we do allot to make ourselves attractive and therefore seduce them. Then sometimes we get the idea that, once committed to a relationship, we don't need to woo someone. This of course is not the case.

http://www.chriswalker.com.au Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris?s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au -- http://www.chriswalker.com.au

Professionally today we know more about what makes or breaks marriages than ever before. While some divorce statistics can be misleading, in short roughly about 25% of marriages are fulfilling. Almost everyone in America gets married at some point, with only about 5% remaining single for life.

Unfortunately many problems begin before the marriage starts, often due to people getting married for the wrong reason. As Neil Clark Warren notes, some men have only one rule, that "I am taller than her."

The truth is we need to go much deeper in our search for making the right choice for who we will spend the rest of our life with. A great place to start is by making a list of ten things you can't stand and of ten things you must have. For instance, if being around someone who smokes is a nonnegotiable, then put it on the list of the "can't stands." If honesty is a given then put it on your list of ten "must haves."

This is a simple, yet powerful exercise that can save you a lot of pain and heartache. If someone registers high on your "can't stand" list of qualities then you have a number of objective red flags from which to evaluate your relationship, and vice versa.

The next thing to know is that marriage will not erase baggage from your life. Indeed many people get married hoping that the new relationship will "fix" things, when in reality it makes everything more complicated. As Les Parrot shares, "Get yourself healthy before you get yourself married." We all have baggage, but we need to do the hard work of dealing with it and being honest about it with our partner before we say, "I do."

And lastly, consider where you are by quantifying the love you share with your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse. As Anthony Robbins summarizes, there are four levels of love, and you owe it to yourself and your partner to meet their needs at level three or four to give your relationship the best chance.

Level one love is simply where one person selfishly takes and gives nothing in return. This is the unhealthiest relationship to be a part of and needs immediate correction for it to survive and flourish.

Level two love is give and take, commonly called horse-trading. At this stage partners give if they are given to and no more. Again, this is a very unhealthy and immature place to be. While you can't change your partner, you can determine that you will not live here.

Level three love is where things blossom because at this level each partner gives freely, expecting nothing in return. They give at this level because this is who they are. When two people meet each other's needs at this level their relationship will provide the trust and fulfillment they each desire.

While the above three levels speak about our intimate relationships, level four love is what Jesus talked about when he said to love your enemies. At this level a person loves even those who seek to do them wrong. This love defines how you relate to the entire world. I don't believe that many people are able to remain at this level for very long especially without regular immersion in the grace of God.

Until next time, a great resource for further help is Dr. John Gottman's book, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail.

A former pastor, Tobin holds both a B.A. and an M.A. in theology. Having traveled widely in the Marine Corps and as a graduate student, Tobin has spent the past 15 years gathering some of the world's most powerful life-changing truths. He's the author of The Life That Is Really Life: How Biblical Truth Can Transform Your Spiritual, Emotional, Physical and Relational Health, available at Amazon and at http://www.twominutesermon.com.

In the 1800's the immortal Mona Lisa was stolen from its home in a Paris museum. It was not recovered for a number of months. Incredibly more people came to see the empty nail than had come to see the actual painting! There is something about human nature that tends to focus upon the negative. We see it in culture, in churches, in politics, in the media, and sadly in relationships. Focusing upon what is not the way we want it to be is very often a toxic endeavor. The reality is that we all have to fight against confirmation bias; which is simply the process whereby we find evidence to support our beliefs by using selective perception that emphasizes the bad and ignores the good.

It is estimated that only about 25% of couples rate their marriages as truly fulfilling, this out of the 50% that don't end in divorce. I want to take a few moments and share some research that shows what detracts from the health of relationships as well as what increases the joy and passion in the healthiest marriages. In the process we will consider some of the negative things that couples focus upon and how to have a much better approach.

Rob Bell has a great video entitled 'Flame' that is worth checking out. He goes into a fascinating discussion about three of the many words found in scripture that are translated as "love." In short the three terms describe friendship, committed relationships and sex. If any of these is missing from a marriage trouble is not far behind.

For instance, if couples are friends but there is no commitment and no sex, they are really just roommates. If there is commitment but no friendship or sex, they are just holding on for the sake of holding on. (You see these couples everywhere in restaurants staring blankly at their food and unaware of the person sitting next to them.) And lastly, if there is sex but no commitment or no relationship, then you simply have two bodies engaged in a physical and empty act. However, where these three expressions of love thrive, so do marriages.

It is important to have an understanding of one another so these three types of love can prosper from a deep appreciation for the differences and similarities between men and women. Not experiencing your spouse as a friend or lover? Perhaps you are breaking some of the following rules and failing to understand what makes men and women so different.

Consider the seemingly simple act of talking for a moment. Biological studies show that women use approximately 40% more brain connectors than men, which means they are mentally more able to focus upon multiple tasks. One of the most common things wives complain about is that their husbands don't listen to them. I am not trying to let inattentive husbands off the hook by any means, but the reality is that there is a strong chance that biologically your husband doesn't hear you if you are talking while he is deeply engaged in another activity. Be sure you have his attention before relaying important information. For men, it is important to give your wife full attention instead of going into a trance in front of the television or car engine or anything else. In the end some simple changes will save both of you a lot of frustration.

Secondly, women often complain that "he doesn't talk to me." Again, this is not a free pass to insensitive men, but the reality is that men use about 20,000 words per day, whereas women use 40,000. On the flip side of this argument men sometimes complain that their wives always want to talk and they don't get enough quiet time. When both parties can understand there is a physiological difference that is inbuilt, they can make adjustments from compassion and understanding instead of upset.

Speaking of communication, there are patterns of behavior that we understand after decades of relational research. One of my professors Norman Wright notes some of the most bothersome statements that men and women make to one another. Take a moment and consider if you and your spouse use these statements. If you do, then recognize how toxic they really are and instead find different ways of communicating your feelings.

Bothersome Statements Men Make To Women:

1. You don't know what you are talking about.

2. I'll do it later.

3. You don't understand.

4. That makes no sense at all.

5. Where'd you get that idea?

6. Don't be so emotional.

7. It cost too much, didn't you check.

8. You are just like your mother.

Bothersome Statements Women Make To Men:

1. I'll be ready in a minute.

2. Ask for directions.

3. Do you want me to repeat myself?

4. If you would have listened the first time.

5. Turn off the TV when I am talking to you.

6. You have a one track mind.

7. Don't you care?

8. The kids learned that from you.

9. You weren't like that before we got married.

Again, the important thing is not to point out your partners failings in these areas as much as it is to together examine where both parties can do things differently in the marriage. This is not the time for pride or one-upmanship, but for compassionately considering where your have been and how you have gotten to where you are, for better or worse. Indeed, some people are so ego driven they believe, "If I were any better I'd be twins." But in marriage we need to lay down our weapons and see how things can become more fulfilling and loving.

So take a few moments and examine the statements above and how often you share these same thoughts, be it vocally or silently to yourself. Also consider the biological differences between men and women and how you can bridge this gap in a way that is win-win for you and your spouse.

Lastly, here are three great questions to ask one another that will help uncover deeper feelings between the two of you. Along with examining the above list, ask your spouse the following questions when the time is appropriate and you both agree that the moment is right for this conversation.

Question one is simply, 'what am I doing that I need to stop doing?' Both husband and wife need to receive the answer with an open mind, and the giver of the answer needs to deliver their message with grace and love.

Secondly, ask 'what am I not doing that you want me to start doing?' Find creative ways to meet the needs that are relayed in this simple but insightful dialogue.

And lastly, ask 'what am I doing that you want me to keep doing?' Here is where it is important to focus upon all the good that is happening in your relationship. Again, so many focus upon the negative, but we need to closely manage our toxic thoughts.

A powerful exercise for those who are in a very difficult time in their marriage is to take the next 72 hours and have each partner write down everything good they notice their spouses doing. Each person keeps this list private until the time period has expired, and then they share their lists with one another. This exercise will train your mind to see the bigger picture. And by write down everything I mean everything. If your spouse brushes their teeth, gets to work on time, takes out the trash, gives a compliment, smells good, anything and everything you can find no matter how seemingly insignificant needs to be listed.

It is far easier to notice the negatives; we have unfortunately learned this as a defense mechanism after years of watching everyone else around us do the same thing. But doing what everyone else is doing is perhaps one of the biggest mistakes that people make.

Want to have a thriving relationship? Then consider your friendship with your spouse, your commitment level and your sex life. Take the principles given here and apply them to your relationship, even if you are the only one that participates at first. I can guarantee you will see results and experience a much healthier marriage.

A former pastor, Tobin holds both a B.A. and an M.A. in theology. Having traveled widely in the Marine Corps and as a graduate student, Tobin has spent the past 15 years gathering some of the world's most powerful life-changing truths. He's the author of The Life That Is Really Life: How Biblical Truth Can Transform Your Spiritual, Emotional, Physical and Relational Health, available at twominutesermon.com

When you're raising a child or children by yourself without the support of their father, it's easy to see how a single mom can long for a man to be a part of her life. Unfortunately, sometimes our desires can lead us to make illogical choices just to end our loneliness. Satisfying our needs by settling for men, who are less than wonderful, will only hurt us and our children. Try to be on the look out for men who exhibit any of the following signs. If you meet him, run away...

He has no contact with his children from a previous marriage and/or relationship. He may or may not tell you he pays child support, but based on the time you spend together, it should be obvious whether he actually sees his children on a regular basis - much less has a "fatherly" relationship with them.
He shows no interest in your child or children. If he comes across this way in the beginning, chances are his behavior will not change. Not only do you not deserve a man who ignores your son or daughter, your children, more than anyone, should not have to deal with anyone who does not treat them properly (particularly when their mom is the person who introduces this new adult into their lives...) Think about it...
He does not call when he says he will. He does not listen to you when you tell him your schedule and/or plans for the afternoon/evening or weekend with your child. He shows up when you're not expecting him and he fails to be there when you think he should be. (Or worse yet when he's told your child he would be there...)
He is selfish with his time. He is not willing to change his own schedule in any way to accommodate your needs (and very real availability) as a single mother.
He treats you poorly in front of your children. (Even if he only treats you badly when you're alone, you still should not consider him a candidate for a lasting, meaningful relationship.) But if he so much as speaks to you negatively, much less acts physically violent to you, when your child is around, you should run for your life basically... Children are like sponges. They absorb everything around them. If they see a man treating their mommy with disrespect, cruelty, aggression or anger, they may learn that this type of behavior is okay. Your children may also become upset with you for allowing anyone to treat you this way.
He tries to compete with your children. He may almost demand that you view him as more important than your child. If he demonstrates in any way that he believes you should make your child a secondary priority to him, you need to get him out of your life and away from your children. Single mothers do not NEED a man in their life. However, if we choose to have a man around, he needs to be supportive of us and our children, good to us and our kids, and he needs to try to understand our unique situation as a single mom.
He does not talk to and/or visit his own mother regularly. No matter how he tries to explain away the lack of contact with his mom to you, you must be strong enough and smart enough to truly evaluate the circumstances. Typically a man who fails to maintain some type of positive relationship with his mother, is a man you who will eventually treat you as horribly as he treats his own mom or worse...

Resource Box - © Danielle Hollister (2004) is the Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine - A free newsletter for quote lovers featuring more than 10,000 quotations in dozens of categories like - love, friendship, children, inspiration, success, wisdom, family, life, and many more. Read it online at - http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art8364.asp

The kind of "falling in love" that makes for a steady, lasting relationship takes time and depends a great deal more than initial attraction or early interactions. Still, many times a perfectly nice and attractive single person will meet someone they'd like to get to know better, someone that could be "the one," and yet the relationship doesn't bloom. Why?

When a relationship is new, both parties are in a "hover" stance. Each person is in a "deciding" mode. "Am I attracted enough to this person to risk the downside of starting a new relationship? Do we have enough in common? Can I imagine hours and years with this person? Will my friends and family like him or her?" Many times a relationship falls by the wayside during this "hover" period because the people involved are anxious and allow that anxiety to interfere with how they come across.

You have to make it through the hover phase, if a relationship is to take root. Strategies matter. Forget struggling with methods for improving abstract concepts like "self-esteem" or "confidence." To get a relationship past the hover stage you have to "fake it until you make it," because the new person you've met doesn't have the time for you to resolved all your personal issues.

The following set of articles, "Giving Love a Chance to Grow" is designed to help you during that "hover" time, to provide you with strategies to better manage anxiety so that you are attractive to the other. People are predictable in a general sense. Certain behaviors push us away, others keep us tuned in. The idea is to keep your new person attracted long enough for him or her to get to know what a wonderful and interesting person you are.

Strategies include, facial expressions, styles of conversation, dealing with fear of silence, appearance, anxiety about commitment, taking chances, leaving room for the other person to pursue you, personal resiliency, and even what you should and shouldn't reveal about your family in those early "hover" hours. Jump on in. Since there are behaviors that improve your chances, why not use them?

Barbara Rice DeShong, Ph.D.
A Psychologist on the Loose
The Secret of Life
Why Not Be Happy Now?
What if You Had 45 Minutes to Live?
http://www.mysteryshrink.com

Love, is where two hearts meet and knit together through happiness and sadness. Love can make many hearts skip with excitement yet love can also cause many broken hearts. It takes little effort for one to become a romantic partner. The many creative and interesting ways to add romance in relationship can be readily found in books, magazines, and the internet. It takes great effort for those in pursuit of a deeper love relationship that could survive many unprepared and unexpected storms. Many will readily say "yes" when asked whether they are romantic lovers. However, few will admit that they are consummate lovers that does not seek the returns of love but are willing to devote their lives in giving true happiness to the person they love.

Whether you are in love, falling out of love or have never been in love, it is never too early or too late to learn the greatest language of love. Learning to love is a growing process. It always starts off with the special feelings that could not get your mind off from thinking about the special person. If such feelings are experienced by the two persons who are about to fall in love, it leads to an eclectic stage where both eyes and hearts are strongly magnetized towards each other. Great deal of time is now spent together as the sparks of love turn into burning flames; where romance is at its peak. However, this journey of love which initially took off to Caribbean beach; surrounded by sunset and paradise, soon landed on the pathway of reality. The flames of love have gradually smothered as the demands and expectations of life set in.

For some, the flames have smothered into shimmering sparks similar to that found in the fire flies. These sparks are soon carried by the fire flies to ignite another flame with someone else. This is when love causes heartaches and trust, betrayed. Yet for many, the flames have smothered into dust, leaving the relationship dry and dull. This is when the very core of love is tested. The survivability of the relationship is no longer depended on whether roses are given or romantic candle light dinner is prepared. It is about whether the relationship can survive the storm with determination and commitment to help each face the storm; as well as unconditional and sacrificial love to give hope and faith in surviving the storm together.

In facing such relentless storm that could break or build the relationship, what is the greatest language of love? Most conservatists will opt for the most classic language that is widely spoken, from youthful passions to mature companionships, a language that has touched and warmed many hearts: "I Love You"! As simple and classic as it may sound, some took great bravery to confess it; some said it casually to create momentary romance that soon fades away; while many have said it again and again, to the point of death that life has ended well because of the power of love.

This indeed is the greatest language of love. Not spoken with selfish and manipulative intentions but with the deepest desire to cherish the moments spent with your loved one, to be a pillar of strength though various seasons of life, and to hold on tightly to each other even at the point of diminishing hope, because after the storm is gone, sunrise and sunset will soon appear. The storm is here but a moment. The sunset and sunrise last a life time for as long as both hearts keep guarding the flames and never put it off......"till death do us part".

Author, Sarah Taylors, manages a directory that provides women related information and links to websites that sell products & services for women consumers. There are also many good and interesting women related articles which you can read for free. Visit her directory to find out more: Women's Appeal Directory.

If you've ever broken up with someone you love, you know how agonizing it can be. Looking back, you probably saw the signs. It might be painful to remember them now, but recalling those signs can prevent another break up. Here's some good love relationship advice - if you start to notice those signs again, don't stick your head in the sand and ignore them. Take action and save your relationship!

One of the biggest signs that a break up might be coming is lack of physical contact. Not necessarily sex, although it's certainly not good if your partner suddenly ceases to be interested in that. But any relationship has its sexual ebbs and flows. That's normal.

But if your partner stops holding your hand like they used to, or putting their arm around you in the movies--this can be a telling signal that something's not right. I'm talking about if your partner was very affectionate outside the bedroom and now, suddenly, and for no apparent reason, isn't anymore.

It's even worse if your partner actually seems uncomfortable at your touch. You really need to have a conversation about what's going on if you notice this. However, don't assume you're going to break up. Maybe your partner just doesn't feel good. Remember, every little change in your partner's behavior doesn't mean they don't love you any more. Still, any good love relationship advice would be to talk about the problem as soon as possible.

Another bad sign is if you catch your partner lying about what appear to be small, harmless things. After all, if it seems so unimportant, why lie about it in the first place? You know the saying "where there's smoke there's fire." Small lies can quickly turn into big ones. Again, you need to address this problem. But wait for a pattern to emerge. After all, people can lie about harmless things like a surprise party or gifts.

Relationships are difficult things to navigate. There are obstacles and dangers at every turn. If you feel that you need good love relationship advice, there are books available that can really help you get through any situation. After all, love is hard to come by. Don't blow it!

Discover more strategies and techniques for keeping love alive at The Magic of Making Up, located at http://www.magicofmakingup-reviews.com

Some say that love is blind. This is especially true in relationships that end suddenly and the person doesn't know what happened. Many times, the signs may have been there for quite a while but you didn't notice them.

The people who surrounded you two may have seen the break up coming before you did. However, to better be prepared for your next relationship so you don't get surprised if it ends suddenly, it's best to be aware of the signs that indicate something is wrong. Here are a few tale - tale signs to review in case something does go wrong.

He does not return your calls.
You spend fewer days together.
Everything you do seems to frustrate him.
He doesn't express how he feels about you anymore.
He spends long periods away from home or from you.
His conversations runs dry.
You can tell he's lying about certain things.
He's mentioned that he wants to separate for while.
He doesn't invite you to his social gatherings anymore.
He doesn't show sincerity in his voice when he talks about his future with you.
You become unhappy around him.
He talks about things he'd like to do that doesn't involve you.
When you see him, he acts like you are not around.
He has lost interest in making love to you.
He tells you that he wants to just "be friends.
When he's out on the town with his friends, he doesn't act like he's attached.
His friends try to hit on you.
Simple acts of affection are non existent.
He dodges you when you try to touch him.
He seems occupied each time you talk.

Knowing what to look out for before a break up occurs helps to lessen the impact of your hurt. No one wants to get hurt, that's why most people act like nothing is happening. But, being aware of the situation can help you to better cope and come to terms with reality to the point where you can logically think if your relationship is even worth continuing.

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People like people who like them. That's simple enough. But, in a new relationship, the timing of your expressions of interest and liking make a big difference. Let's say you've just met someone you'd like to attract, or you are on your first or second date. What's the most effective way to manage yourself emotionally so that your chosen person is likely to think well of you and want to see you again? Of course, many pieces go into a successful long lasting relationship, but what we're going for here is 'maintaining interest'. If you can't maintain the other person's interest and curiosity long enough for him or her to get to know the terrific person you are-nothing else matters.

In which of these situations do you think a person is more likely to have a positive opinion of you after a first encounter and want to see you again?

Scenario One. You meet your new chosen person and you are upbeat and open from the beginning, smiling and doing your best to assure that your chosen 'other' feels good throughout your encounter. You establish eye contact from the beginning such as a salesperson would do hoping to keep others comfortable.

Scenario Two. You meet and you are upbeat and open at the start. Then as time passes the halfway mark of your encounter, you pull back slightly. Not noticeably, just enough that you are more private than at first meeting, as if you are carefully thinking about the future.

Scenario Three. You meet and at first are slightly edgy, a bit more private and slow to smile. At the halfway mark of your encounter, you smile more easily and make solid eye contact. The most upbeat element of your time together is as you are parting.

We all have anxieties, especially when meeting new people. For a person to want to repeat the experience of being with you, it's important that he or she feel comfortable and at ease. But studies have shown that the timing of that easiness makes a big difference.

Scenario One leaves the other with a vague uncomfortable feeling that maybe you like everyone and he or she is not really special to you. Scenario Two leaves the other with a sense he or she has done something wrong and, perhaps, you are too sensitive and too much work.

Scenario Three is the rhythm most likely to leave someone wanting to see you again, that you are an interesting person. You have shown thoughtfulness by leaping into the meeting being positive before you've had time to make some judgment. Still-at this is very important-you have come to the conclusion that you do like your new 'chosen' person and gradually become more enthusiastic. He or she will feel slightly relieved and more special. If you withhold too long, you'll push the other awaited frustrated.

But, some will say, isn't this manipulation? Of course, but learning how to stop botching your own relationships is what learning and trying new things is all about. If your new relationship keeps going, it will keep going because of who you are. A psychologist might be able to help you write an essay to get you into a good college. But only you can prove worthy of the opportunity.

Barbara Rice DeShong, Ph.D.
A Psychologist on the Loose
The Secret of Life
Confidence
Why Not You to Hit it Big?
http://www.mysteryshrink.com

The goal of most dating is always to discover whether or not the both of you are suitable for each other, ideally, so compatible that you want to spend the rest of your lives together. Failure to ask great questions, questions that you really require answers to, can end up creating a lot of long-lasting pain for all people that are involved.

A counselor will want to know if the attraction between both parties is really shared?

You will find a belief in groups of males and females that particular individuals of the opposite sex are so appealing - "he's a catch - she's a babe," that this concern of mutual attraction is largely pushed aside.

Let's assume for a minute that Tony really is drawn to Brittany. He is told by a lot of buddies that he would be "lucky" to end up together with a gal like her. Tony pursues her and is able to win her over. Now, Brittany is impressed by the attention she obtains from Tony. She feels special, although she finds that there is numerous things pertaining to Tony she does not understand or even like. She ignores many of these emotions since she actually is concerned that no other man could desire her like he truly does.

It's now quite a few years into their union and it is no secret to Tony that Brittany is just not very attracted to him. He feels hurt, frustrated and angry, and their bond suffers as a consequence.

Is the attraction between the two people mutual over a prolonged stretch of time?

It's recognized that 85 to 90 % of the things we participate in every day are governed by our subconscious thoughts. These are definitely our habitual behaviours, some which have been with us for decades. The remaining 10 to 15% of the activities are accomplished by our conscious mind. We try to make conscious choices about what will eat for supper, how to react to a whining customer, or what to dress in for work.

Early in the dating process we are more conscious or diligent about our clothing and etiquette, due to the fact we want to make a very good impression. After a while, as the relationship gets to be more long lasting, men and women often ease off consciously trying to impress the other person and their conditioned morals and behaviors that govern eighty-five to ninety percent of their day by day actions are more apparent to the other person.

For this reason, folks who date and commit too quickly, years later, find themselves thinking about their partner and pondering... "who are you?" You're most definitely not the person I recall falling head over heels in love with!

The particular individual they fell in love with was consciously acting in a certain manner. The person they find themselves now with is the same, except that they're living from what his or her own subconscious mind has kept and referenced for super quick playback.

Chris Keenan is the founder of Easy Relationship Help. They provide a low cost alternative to traditional marriage-counselling. Their risk free method to relationship assistance makes it simple for individuals to obtain the counseling support they want. "Why be all alone when you don't have to?"

There are many ways to show that you love someone. One of those ways is to give the gift of a special Valentine's Day card. This is a great way to get your message across in a sweet, loving way without having to find the words on your own. And, because there are so many to choose from, you are likely to find just what you want and what you'll love too.

Your Spouse Or Significant Other

Your first goal is to honor your significant other with a special card. It is okay to go with something humorous or something touching. What you choose is up to you and your preferences but you can easily find a card that shows how much you love someone, how it is you two against the world or simply ways that you wish to show your love. Choose whichever fits well with your desires. Make sure you leave a special message at the bottom or a simple, "I Love You" will mean the world to them.

Your Parents

You will likely not find it hard to find a card that you can give your mother or your father for this day. Here, honor the things that mom and dad have done for you throughout the years or continue to do for you now. A card can praise the things that your father has done too. A card that shows that you love them, respect them, and appreciate them will be cherished by them. If you can't say these words to them easily, finding just the right card to express is will be that much more meaningful to them.

Your Siblings

Sure, they drive you made most of the time, but your sisters and brothers should receive a card too. You can really get away with a comical card here. Tease them about something from childhood or a cute joke is just the right touch for these cards. Make sure to provide a sentiment of your love and respect for them, or perhaps how much you value them.

Everyone Else

You'll find a wide range of other Valentine's Day cards available too. You'll find them for virtually every member of your family and can purchase them for these individuals if you would like to. Make sure that the card says something that is special and meaningful for that relationship. This is a great way for you to feel good about your family and friends in an inexpensive way to remember them on this day.

Friends and other people in your life can really find it sweet that you have thought of them on this day. Providing just the right type of card is crucial here. Make sure to get the relationship down onto the card well and then a simple note is all that is needed.

Providing a Valentine's Day card to those that you love and those that have meaning in your life will strengthen your relationship with them. They will appreciate you and your feelings for them. And, they will be thrilled that you thought of them on this day.

Nicola Kennedy has become an expert in giving valentines day cards that are appreciated. Visit her site http://www.Best-Valentines.info for more great Valentines gift ideas to make Valentines 2006 a special one.

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Love, the word itself brings an abundance of memories for some, sweet memories meant to last eternally while the very same word brings torment and heartache to others. And for some, it has but a bittersweet meaning, combining the best of both good and bad, into one indifferent memory. Many people have sought the answer to this question, what is love? Many scholars and authors have given their own definition of love, yet no one has come to a conclusion as to what love could really be. Love has proven to be a philosophy, with no real meaning, best limited to the individual. For me personally, love has been full of lies. A cycle of relationship after relationship of lies, hurt and a particularly spectacular ending for each one of them, most of them ending with a third party I never even knew about. But enough of my whining, let's move on into this article. The main point of love discussed would be that between a man and a woman.

One of the most common problems faced is communication breakdowns. This can range from lack of communication to just arguing over everything. Other implications could include a third party as well, or rather, unfaithfulness. One other problem, that's unseen by most, is actually low self esteem. To elaborate a little more, a person with low self esteem is likely to be the one who is more withdrawn in the relationship, thus lacking the foundation for trust between the couple. Later on, this will prove fatal, if their relationship is being put to the test or if one is disgruntled or unsatisfied with the other.

On how to solve them, there are many ways. The best first step would be to keep an open mind and do not be impulsive. For communication breakdowns, a good way would be to enlist the help of a third party to act as a mediator between the both of you. For the unfaithfulness problem, it's best to just move away from the relationship, if your so-called partner even dared to have an outside relationship you can be sure he or she will try it again. So it's best to just move off and continue with life as it is.

For the last problem, it's quite complicated, as sometimes the person himself/herself doesn't realize he or she has a low self esteem. Only when the person starts to feel stress will he or she do something drastic, or hole himself up away from the other partner. This might eventually lead to abuse, or in some cases, even murder. In such cases, it is best to seek mental help or someone qualified enough who is able to intervene.

I sincerely hope that this short article has helped you in any way possible. If there are any detailed questions feel free to ask a trained councilor on advice or other tips. Love does hurt, very much at times, but it's what happens now that makes us a much better person in the future. There is a soul mate for everyone, and I hope you find yours too.

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Not to bore you with statistics, but between 25-40% of all romantic relationships among college students are long distance. In fact, with the rise in revolutions in modern technology, which present new ways of keeping in touch (think web-cams!), long distance relationships, including marriages, are on the rise.

The first and foremost means of maintaining a relationship where the people involved don't live in the same vicinity (and often not even the same country) is effective communication. This is why it is extremely important for persons considering a long distance relationship to clearly communicate on all essential issues, much before hand, so as to side-step any conflict. Issues can range from simple problems like being home to receive your significant other's call, to the more complex concerns which may involve immigration and children. Even though sustaining a long distance relationship is very demanding, if two people have made a commitment to foster love between themselves no matter what, nothing is quite impossible. What's more is that if you share an insatiable, everlasting love for each other, it isn't a long shot to believe that God might even intervene to play the biggest supporting role in your lives. Yes, all you cynics out there doubt this, but trust us, we've seen some of the most hopeless relationships breed flowers.

To get to the point, one of the biggest downsides to a long distance relationship is the lack of physical closeness, which makes it really very hard to keep the spark alive. Yet, the idea of being in a satisfying relationship is such a blessed one that often people often realize that distance does make the heart grow fonder; sometimes even helping direct a doomed relationship onto a path of success. Another problem that people in a long distance relationship have to deal with is that of jealousy. Since your loved one isn't where you can keep an eye on him/her, it's extremely easy to get jealous and suspicious of even the minutest happenings, especially for people who are insecure. And who isn't? There's always a hint of insecurity in each one of us, especially when it comes to the people we love so much that we are terrified of being hurt by them. The way around this issue is to realize that trust is an important commodity to give to your partner; if this conviction in each other is mutual, suspicious notions can easily be extinguished. That is why it's important to be able to place your utmost trust in your partner, because if you're not sure of that, you can't ever be sure of anything else.

Yet another matter which couples in a long distance relationship have to deal with is that of loneliness. The obvious way of dealing with this is to physically meet as many times as possible, and to spend true quality time dedicated to each other when together. However, the rest of the time that individuals spend away from their better halves can often turn their loneliness into a case of depression, if they do not engage themselves in enough activities of interest. Thus, it is highly advisable for each distant lover to improve his or her social support system away from home (where the heart is!) Participating in leisure activities, performing social welfare duties, and indulging in artistic pursuits are recommended tools to break through the limits of lonesomeness. Lovers who cannot get together very often should also learn to be independent whilst nurturing healthy dependence upon one another. This leads to a balance of power in relationships, allowing individuals to remain autonomous while also growing as halves of the other.

Long distance relationships are also about adequately meeting the emotional needs of your partner. Even though there is a lot of room to breathe, and hardly any chance of your partner choking you out of your space (unless he/she can't stop calling you!), there are times when you need to just be there, no matter what. Also, with so much time spent apart, partners must not expect their better halves to stay exactly the same as they left them, because circumstances and surroundings do tend to affect a person's character.

Another thing that both partners in a long distance relationship need to understand is that it's imperative to learn to function under understandable expectations. It is vital for a person to know what to expect of their significant other, and to do their best to meet what is expected of them. If this isn't the case with your relationship, we suggest that you call for a warm discussion to clarify everything relational that has either been misunderstood or never been brought to the surface. Talking about it helps: We promise!

In all honesty, the secret to being happy in a long distance relationship is for the partners to ensure that emphasis is laid on their time spent together rather than the distance between them. In other words, it is best to get together, enjoy the little time one has with their distant lover in a happy frame of mind, rather than ruin the mood by remembering the times when you needed him/her and he/she was not around.

Yes, there is a great downside to long distance relationships, and everyone going through such a relationship is conscious of it. Even so, the pleasure of knowing that there is someone who cares no matter how far away they might be, tends to run over the list of pitfalls.

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Rebound love occurs when a person has been in a long-term relationship and jumps headfirst into a brand new one. Excuse the terminology but this is pretty much how it happens.

We have probably all done it and wondered later what possessed us to do such a thing when we were only beginning to grieve for our recent loss.

So why do we do it? Lock horns with a new romantic interest even though our perfume was probably still lingering on our ex partner's pillow slip.

The reason is we may not feel compelled to revisit the person in the last relationship depending on how it ended but we crave the closeness and familiarity of the relationship itself.

I was explaining this to a friend who had recently been through a break up to be told quite indignantly that she was not interested in her ex just finding someone new. Her words said it all as why would anyone want to hook up with someone so FAST after a 5 year relationship?

She took the leap of urgency and was convinced she was in love with the first guy she met. Knowing that everyone has their own journey I stayed very quiet on the sidelines while she got hurt instantly and then proceeded to date another guy where the same thing happened again.

The thing is she swore black and blue she was over her ex partner and even though this was probably true she was not ready to commit to a new meaningful, relationship just yet. After the second guy did not measure up she began to realize that there was a lot to be said about this thing called a REBOUND LOVE.

What had actually happened was my friend was missing the ingredients that make up a relationship cake.

She was adamant that her ex partner was no longer the right man for her anymore which is fine but she was not aware that the relationship originally worked because both of them wanted to be together.

You see you meet someone, fall in love and decide you want to build a life together. After a period of dating you decide to move in together and start buying things for your love nest and making it into your home. You may get married and have children, buy a house and make new friends all the things that bind you together and make you no longer just a couple but a family.

You are living the dream and believe with all your heart that it will be this way for the rest of your life.

Suddenly the dream of a happy ever after has ended as the light has gone out on the relationship and nothing could be done to fix it.

You are a mix of emotions. You at first feel relief that a resolution has been made but his is soon out shadowed by feelings of loss, sadness and GRIEF. You ended the relationship so you cannot understand why you would feel this way and find the feelings so overpowering you just want to find away to snuff them out.

Lying in your bed at night alone you are not missing your ex but you wish there were someone next to you holding you the way he used to, making you feel safe and warm. This is what makes a significant RELATIONSHIP so hard to get over because it is a union of two people who come together to create something far bigger than themselves. When two becomes one again the loss of that way of life can be devastating.

So rebound love is a way of finding the comfort and security you may have experienced in your last relationship.

The dangers of rebounding are more hurt and confusion, as you may not be aware of the baggage you are carrying. Some sure-fire ways to tell if you are in a relationship with someone on the rebound are as follows.

1. Is your new guy constantly talking about his ex? It is not important whether they say good or bad things about them just the fact that he has not let go.

2. Does he carry photos of his ex in his wallet? Ouch that is going to be a real turn-off to you I think.

3. How long has it been since he broke up with his partner because if it is not too long you better know he is on the rebound and could be out of the new one with you as fast as he came in.

I am not discounting the fact that there have been many beautiful love stories emerge from a rebound relationship but I am urging you to be aware of what you are getting yourself into if you choose a rebound love.

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It's almost 2012 and most of us don't know what we want in this lifetime. We are all, "Somewhere in the middle of nowhere." Why is this so? For most of us, we are primarily focused on our career! This is a great endeavor! The economy isn't going to give in to our monetary needs, so it is absolutely necessary to make a living and properly secure our financial future. Both of these are definitely high priorities, but what about love? Many in this category are in their early or mid-thirties and of course, are either single or divorced! However, the biological clock is ticking! Not to mention, the feeling of incompleteness is starting to really set in!

That brings the anxiety of being alone! Ask yourself, am I going to be alone for the rest of my life? Is there someone out there for me? Moreover, we should know that True Love will not be found in a Bar or at the night club where all the regulars hang-out! What about those who are divorced for whatever reason and didn't have Plan B, just in case," death didn't do them apart?" Worse than that, your spouse or lover had a sudden change of heart after several months, years, or decades together! What about the person you dated for 2 years and then they realized, that they haven't found themselves yet?

I know what you're thinking, who is this guy? Right? I'm no relationship expert, but experience does give us all better knowledge on how to handle certain situations. However, I would like to recommend Patti Stanger, from Millionaire Matchmaker! Patti is simply awesome! Relationships are her passion and she has a very high success rate for putting couples together! Have you ever wondered what life could be like, if that special someone was never found? Do you now realize that you had," The One", and wish that you had it all again? Some people will tell you that being too busy, has stopped them from starting any romantic relationships.

Will time, age, beauty, or a near death experience give you a new perspective on how short life really is? Ideal advice for all is: If you find True Love, don't take it for granted! We've only got one life to get it right! Relationships are in fact, what you make them! Most important of all is, "If you have never loved, you haven't really lived yet!"

Let's let love guide us to places that we never knew were possible! Death is certain, but life is not! Make time for those people in your life who always seem to lift your spirit, horizon, and dedicate themselves for your cause. Give love a chance!

Loneliness gets to some more than others. But why it hangs on isn't always apparent when read by traditional medical eyes. In my medical practice and workshops I've been struck by how many sensitive, empathic people who I call "emotional empaths" come to me, lonely, wanting a romantic partner, yet remaining single for years. Or else they're in relationships but feel constantly fatigued and overwhelmed. The reason isn't simply that "there aren't enough emotionally available people 'out there,'" nor is their burnout "neurotic." Personally and professionally, I've discovered that something more is going on.

Emotional empaths are a species unto themselves. Whereas others may thrive on the togetherness of being a couple, for empaths like me, too much togetherness can be difficult, may cause us to bolt. Why? We tend to intuit and absorb our partner's energy, and become overloaded, anxious, or exhausted when we don't have time to decompress in our own space. We're super-responders; our sensory experience of relationship is the equivalent of feeling objects with fifty fingers instead of five. Energetically sensitive people unknowingly avoid romantic partnership because deep down they're afraid of getting engulfed. Or else, they feel engulfed when coupled, a nerve-wracking, constrictive way to live. If this isn't understood, empaths can stay perpetually lonely; we want companionship, but, paradoxically, it doesn't feel safe. One empath-patient told me, "It helps explain why at thirty-two I've only had two serious relationships, each lasting less than a year." Once we empaths learn to set boundaries and negotiate our energetic preferences, intimacy becomes possible.

For emotional empaths to be at ease in a relationship, the traditional paradigm for coupling must be redefined. Most of all, this means asserting your personal space needs--the physical and time limits you set with someone so you don't feel they're on top of you. Empaths can't fully experience emotional freedom with another until they do this. Your space needs can vary with your situation, upbringing, and culture. My ideal distance to keep in public is at least an arm's length. In doctors' waiting rooms I'll pile my purse and folders on the seats beside me to keep others away. With friends it's about half that. With a mate it's variable. Sometimes it's rapture being wrapped in his arms; later I may need to be in a room of my own, shut away. One boyfriend who truly grasped the concept got me a "Keep Out" sign for my study door! For me, this was a sign of true love. All of us have an invisible energetic border that sets a comfort level. Identifying and communicating yours will prevent you from being bled dry by others. Then intimacy can flourish, even if you've felt suffocated before. Prospective mates or family members may seem like emotional vampires when you don't know how to broach the issue of personal space. You may need to educate others--make clear that this isn't about not loving them--but get the discussion going. Once you can, you're able to build progressive relationships.

If you're an empath or if the ordinary expectations of coupledom don't jibe with you practice the following tips.

DEFINE YOUR PERSONAL SPACE NEEDS

Tips for empaths to feel at ease in a relationship

Tip 1. What to say to a potential mate

As you're getting to know someone, share that you're a sensitive person, that you periodically need quiet time. The right partner will be understanding; the wrong person will put you down for being "overly sensitive," won't respect your need.

Tip 2. Clarify your preferred sleep style

Traditionally, partners sleep in the same bed. However, some empaths never get used to this, no matter how caring a mate. Nothing personal; they just like their own sleep space. Speak up about your preferences. Feeling trapped in bed with someone, not getting a good night's rest, is torture. Energy fields blend during sleep, which can over stimulate empaths. So, discuss options with your mate. Separate beds. Separate rooms. Sleeping together a few nights a week. Because non-empaths may feel lonely sleeping alone, make compromises when possible.

Tip 3. Negotiate your square footage needs

You may be thrilled about your beloved until you live together. Experiment with creative living conditions so your home isn't a prison. Breathing room is mandatory. Ask yourself, "What space arrangements are optimal?" Having an area to retreat to, even if it's a closet? A room divider? Separate bathrooms? Separate houses? I prefer having my own bedroom/office to retreat to. I also can see the beauty of separate wings or adjacent houses if affordable. Here's why: conversations, scents, coughing, movement can feel intrusive. Even if my partner's vibes are sublime, sometimes I'd rather not sense them even if they're only hovering near me. I'm not just being finicky; it's about maintaining well-being if I live with someone.

Tip 4. Travel wisely

Traveling with someone, you may want to have separate space too. Whether my companion is romantic or not, I'll always have adjoining rooms with my own bathroom. If sharing a room is the only option, hanging a sheet as a room divider will help. "Out of sight" may make the heart grow fonder.

Tip 5. Take regular mini-breaks

Empaths require private downtime to regroup. Even a brief escape prevents emotional overload. Retreat for five minutes into the bathroom with the door shut. Take a stroll around the block. Read in a separate room. One patient told her boyfriend, "I need to disappear into a quiet room for ten minutes at a party, even if I'm having fun," a form of self-care that he supports.

In my medical practice, I've seen this creative approach to relationships save marriages and make ongoing intimacies feel safe, even for emotional empaths (of all ages) who've been lonely and haven't had a long-term partner before. Once you're able to articulate your needs, emotional freedom in your relationships is possible.

Judith Orloff MD is author of the new book "Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life" (Ramdon House, 2009). Her other bestsellers are Positive Energy, Intuitive Healing, and Second Sight. Dr. Orloff synthesizes the pearls of traditional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition and energy medicine. She is featured regularly in print, broadcast and online media. Her unique and sought-after guidelines on how to recapture, nurture and affirm our energy, emotional wellness, and intuitive abilities have helped people worldwide to heal themselves. Dr. Orloff's work has been featured in O Magazine, Self, Cosmo, Reader's Digest, The Washington Times, and the New York Post. She has appeared on The Today Show, CBS Early Show, CNN, PBS, and NPR. Dr. Orloff's work is featured on Beliefnet.com, iVillage, and she is a columnist for Feminist.com, Healthy.net, and Happynews.com. Dr. Orloff is a blogger for Psychology Today. For more information go to http://www.judithorloff.com.

Conversations, everybody has them, some will converse verbally while others prefer the skill of sending text messages. Is sending text messages really a skill? Well, lets just say it requires a certain amount of skill in knowing the right words to text. Much gets lost in the translation though when sending a text message. I learned plenty this weekend talking with my soon to be, 19 year old son. I'm sure there are many other teenagers frustrated with their peer group, who seems to work better behind keyboard.

While trying to understand the source of his frustration, it seems this generation is distancing themselves from the ability to effectively and coherently express themselves with words. Communicating verbally seems to be a challenge to many teens who go out on dates. Speaking of dating, that has a separate meaning all together in this day and time. I've learned that many teens are simply bored with your typical conversation and would rather send you a text message. For those teens and young adults (ages 19 - 23) who have interest such as reading, current events, politics and science, are considered boring people among many in their peer group. Many teens and young adults feel the pressure to "dumb it down" because being articulate, intelligent and informed is out and being a thug, being down and trendy is whats up.

Relationships

Relationships among our teens and young adults are defined in cyberspace. Although you will meet someone of interest, the relationship is mostly developed online first. When interested in someone and you want to get the "411" on them (get information) you become a friend on their social network site and read all about them (after all that is what many employers will do). Going out to dinner or to a movie seems to be for entertainment purposes, not to get to know each other. Relationships have taken on a different meaning with our youth in this century.

Many teen social circles and peer groups will use the word "Love" in passing or while greeting each other. Teens will see their friends in the mall, greet each other and even embrace for a moment and will say "I Love You" when they part. I can't help from asking, do our young people understand and know what love is? maybe not, but while doing a short survey among teens, I usually get the deer in the head lights look before they mumble a reply. The reply usually doesn't answer the question though.

Whats Love Got To Do With It?

When asking the question among teens and some young adults, I asked the questions:

How do you know when its love?
How can you use the same word (Love) to express how you feel about a pair of shoes a video game or your favorite food; then use that same word to express how you feel about someone?

Of course both answers were met with long pauses and confused expressions on their faces. In the attempt to show or express an attachment or a concern or caring attitude to those in their peer group, I believe the only word our youth can express how they feel, is this word love. In many cases, unrealized by them, their love is actually conditional and the true emotion of love has absolutely nothing to do with what they express to each other among their peer groups. It was perfectly understood when I gave examples of what love is.

It is refreshing to know that many teens and young adults, care enough about each other to greet, embrace and say "I Love You" to each other, maybe the adults can take a lesson from this.

Nathaniel Lewis invites your to visit Going Against The Grain at: http://www.GoingAgainstTheGrain.org where you will find hundreds of thought provoking and inspiring articles. You can find out more about this author at: http://NathanielLewis.info. Please feel free to comment to this article or any article on our blog. Thanks for reading, hope to hear from you soon!