Talking, Texting, Love and Relationships - What Love Has to Do With It

Conversations, everybody has them, some will converse verbally while others prefer the skill of sending text messages. Is sending text messages really a skill? Well, lets just say it requires a certain amount of skill in knowing the right words to text. Much gets lost in the translation though when sending a text message. I learned plenty this weekend talking with my soon to be, 19 year old son. I'm sure there are many other teenagers frustrated with their peer group, who seems to work better behind keyboard.

While trying to understand the source of his frustration, it seems this generation is distancing themselves from the ability to effectively and coherently express themselves with words. Communicating verbally seems to be a challenge to many teens who go out on dates. Speaking of dating, that has a separate meaning all together in this day and time. I've learned that many teens are simply bored with your typical conversation and would rather send you a text message. For those teens and young adults (ages 19 - 23) who have interest such as reading, current events, politics and science, are considered boring people among many in their peer group. Many teens and young adults feel the pressure to "dumb it down" because being articulate, intelligent and informed is out and being a thug, being down and trendy is whats up.

Relationships

Relationships among our teens and young adults are defined in cyberspace. Although you will meet someone of interest, the relationship is mostly developed online first. When interested in someone and you want to get the "411" on them (get information) you become a friend on their social network site and read all about them (after all that is what many employers will do). Going out to dinner or to a movie seems to be for entertainment purposes, not to get to know each other. Relationships have taken on a different meaning with our youth in this century.

Many teen social circles and peer groups will use the word "Love" in passing or while greeting each other. Teens will see their friends in the mall, greet each other and even embrace for a moment and will say "I Love You" when they part. I can't help from asking, do our young people understand and know what love is? maybe not, but while doing a short survey among teens, I usually get the deer in the head lights look before they mumble a reply. The reply usually doesn't answer the question though.

Whats Love Got To Do With It?

When asking the question among teens and some young adults, I asked the questions:

How do you know when its love?
How can you use the same word (Love) to express how you feel about a pair of shoes a video game or your favorite food; then use that same word to express how you feel about someone?

Of course both answers were met with long pauses and confused expressions on their faces. In the attempt to show or express an attachment or a concern or caring attitude to those in their peer group, I believe the only word our youth can express how they feel, is this word love. In many cases, unrealized by them, their love is actually conditional and the true emotion of love has absolutely nothing to do with what they express to each other among their peer groups. It was perfectly understood when I gave examples of what love is.

It is refreshing to know that many teens and young adults, care enough about each other to greet, embrace and say "I Love You" to each other, maybe the adults can take a lesson from this.

Nathaniel Lewis invites your to visit Going Against The Grain at: http://www.GoingAgainstTheGrain.org where you will find hundreds of thought provoking and inspiring articles. You can find out more about this author at: http://NathanielLewis.info. Please feel free to comment to this article or any article on our blog. Thanks for reading, hope to hear from you soon!