Love is a special attachment felt by one for another expressed through many ways such as eying, talking, touching, love making and offering of gifts etc. But most love affairs have been ruined because one felt that the other was clingy. This article explains how to maintain love.

"When a couple marry, they become one flesh." That statement refers to the assumption that when a couple starts a relationship of marriage they tend to give up many of the freedoms they may have had when single and concentrate on bonding for a successful marriage.

However, if you are just getting to know a young man or woman, you don't have the right to expect that level of accountability from your partner. If you are hasty in demanding undivided attention, you may sabotage your friendship.

A man or woman would think that you are being too clingy if you make effort from onset to know every of their moves. You should have your own social life and other interests to occupy you whenever you partner is not available.

It is bad behavior to want to know where you partner is all the time by way of texts and unnecessary phone enquiries. Let your partner spend time with his male or female friends, if your partner loves you they will always come back to you.

Having said all that, satisfactory sexual relationship between partners is very essential for maintaining a successful relationship. You have to know how to make your partner sexually happy to keep them.

For more information on how to keep your love life enjoyable and happy, go to 500 Erotic LoveMakingTips to find out how to hold onto your man or woman after you have gained their confidence.

Ahh, friends. The people we pick up along the proverbial bus ride of life. Some hitch a ride and get off after a couple stops, and others hang on for the long haul. As our world grows ever smaller, the friendship pool extends ever wider. But does it grow shallower, too?

So many friends, so little time. We have our life-long friends, whose children we watch grow bigger each year. We have our work friends, those great comrades who hear our daily frustrations and celebrate our biggest achievements. Then there are the old school friends; we came of age shared our best memories with these guys! And of course, our extra-curricular friends; bowling buddies, drinking buddies, kindred souls from the writers' club, moms from the PTA. Last but not least, the internet friends... some of whom may know our deepest secrets even as we have yet to know their faces!

These days, a friend is a phone call or an email away. Friends can find us on our cell phones and on the internet, even if we move across country. Seems so easy, to just have friends and more friends by the boatload. Why, you can have a friend in every city if you want to (and that would make for some cheap and interesting vacations!). But the fact about friendship is... if we want to have deep friendships with some folks, others will simply have to take a back seat. And if we want healthy relationships all around, we'll have to learn not to be so petty.

With this new ease in communication comes new categories of friends, and a brand new set of considerations. Sometimes you fight yourself caught between a friend whom you really feel a close connection with, and another, more persistent friend who jockeys for your free time. Then there is the matter of social engagements. If you throw a party and only invite family and long-time friends, will your internet friends feel left out? Should you start living secret lives with multiple sets of friends? What about friends who lay guilt trips on you? Does the you-can-run-but-you-can't-hide aspect of cell phones, voicemail and email make it easier to just silently bear these people than shake them off for good?

The world is getting pretty crowded. With every new friend we make, we give away another little piece of ourselves. This can be exhausting! So how do we keep the cup of love and friendship from spilling over? Here's a little new-age philosophy to keep your relations peaceful and joyous, the way that your God would want them.

Take responsibility for yourself and no one else. Why is it so much easier for us to point fingers instead of taking the blame ourselves and then making a motion for improvement? Why do we say things like, "Hey, you never call me anymore!" when it should be more like, "Gee, I've been so out of touch, maybe I should give [Cathy] a ring." If everyone just owned up to their own shortcomings and corrected their own faults, things would be better all around.

Learn to love people for the ways they fulfill you, instead of resenting them for the ways they don't. Ever catch yourself saying, "Oh, I can't talk about [work] to So-and-so. She just doesn't want to hear it." Well, is there something else you CAN talk to that person about? Do you have different friends for different interest categories? Well, that's a positive thing! What a lucky person to be able to share your multiple facets of personality with so many wonderful friends.

Never argue via email. Unfortunately, there will be times when feelings get hurt and grievances must be aired. Whatever you do, don't hash it out on email. Putting harsh and defensive remarks in writing is a terrible thing to do to a friend! Here's the thing: if you feel you can't call someone or "have a discussion" face to face, I have some sad news for you. You're probably not as close to this person as you think you are. Maybe instead of hurling accusations, it's time to think about saving (or severing) the friendship.

Don't push the (guest) envelope. So you're getting married. Wonderful! Do you invite everyone in the free world, or do you keep it intimate and exclusive? With so many friends in so many circles, it's hard to know where to draw the line. Suppose you ask an old friend who you haven't been particularly close to of late, to your wedding... and they decline. Should you feel offended? Should you pursue them for an explanation? No, and no. Sure, you may feel upset that someone from the past doesn't wish to share in your joy, but why not just concentrate on your happy times ahead instead of dwelling on the negative? If someone doesn't feel like participating, just let them be. You have the rest of your life to work on getting close to them if you really want to.

Remember your true friends. That guy from happy hour is not your real friend. The woman from Yoga who calls you only when she's mad at her boyfriend is not your real friend. Someone who still thinks you're the same person you were two decades ago is not your real friend, either (although they may think they are!). Your real friends have known you in your darkest hour and love you all the more for it. Your real friends have watched the birth and death of your thousand selves. Your real friends tell you the truth and not what you want to hear. Your real friends would drop everything to come to your rescue, and you'd do the same for them. Never forsake these people for friends of a fair-weather variety!

Go with the flow. My eighth grade reading teacher wrote the following in my yearbook: "Stay happy and lithe and go with the flow, and love shall follow wherever you go." What great advice! If you're going with the flow you're not really resisting, are you? If you're going with the relationship flow, you're realizing that things can't be perfect with everyone at all times, and that's okay. There's always tomorrow, next week, next year or the next century for the winds to change direction and reawaken an old friendship that may have been dormant for some time.

Don't say goodbye; say, "See you later." Sure, there are times in our life when we'll feel like we've outgrown certain people. Was there a crowd who you always partied with, who maybe you don't seem to have as much in common with anymore? Did you become more religious, and did that leave you with some tough choices to make about which friends to keep? There is no reason to hurt someone by telling them, "I don't want to be your friend anymore." Go quietly and gracefully if you can. You never know what the future holds, and whether or not an old friend may return to your life at some point down the road.

Whoever said "It's a small world after all," was more right than they realized. We need to figure out a way to keep our relations peaceful on this ever-shrinking planet. Let's all be a little more thankful for and forgiving of our friends. After all, what would we be without them?

Copyright 2005 Dina Giolitto. All rights reserved.

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# 1: The only difference between a love relationship and a friendship is intimacy. Ask yourself: With my current partner am I living in a friendship or a love relationship?

# 2: Personal evolution: Relationship is the fastest way to personally evolve. Your partner has VIP access to your hot buttons. Once you are past the honeymoon period you will be pushing each other's buttons, whether you like it or not, for the purpose of growth and expansion of who you are.

# 3: Knowing one another: The basis of a sound relationship is to know another. It is not about what you know from the past, it is about what you discover freshly every day. Are you referencing your partner through past experience or through what is showing up in the present?

# 4: Affection: Do not assume your spouse knows you love and admire him or her. You need to communicate it frequently. Especially (but not only) in a volatile marriage affection is the key to marital happiness.

#5: Conflict: A lasting relationship results from a couple's ability to resolve the conflicts that are inevitable in a relationship.

#6: Communicate: Do not assume anything - even after years of being together there is no benefit in assuming. Ask, talk, communicate, and get to know each other freshly each day. Let yourself be surprised!

#7: Growth: Relationships are here to help us grow beyond the comfort zones we currently inhabit. Especially intimate relationships will inevitably become your biggest teacher if you are willing to be a continuous student.

#8: 'Self' versus 'We': An actualized relationship can be measured at the amount of allowing of 'self' in relation to 'we'. Are you allowing yourself to have your opinion, your position etc or are you keeping things to yourself, letting them go etc for fear of rocking the boat of the relationship?

#9: Criticism: Saying what bothers you about your partner might wear the relationship down when done constantly. It can erode intimacy and connection. Try sharing what you appreciate and admire for a change...

#10: Give-and-take: Relationships require give-and-take, but a problem arises when one partner does more than his/her fair share of giving in and going along in a relationship. Find your voice and 'voice' your needs.

Want to know more? Have a look at my blog.

Nathalie Himmelrich is the founder of 'Reach for the Sky Therapy' on Sydney's Northern Beaches and specialises in 'relationship related issues'. She is working with individuals and couples using techniques ranging from Counselling, Neuro Linguistic Programming to Journey Therapy. She supports clients in their personal growth in a supportive and professional environment.

Visit my website: http://www.reachforthesky.com.au or visit my blog: http://reachforthesky.wordpress.com and sign up for our newsletter today.

Today, I want to talk with you about two types of relationships that sometimes get confused. Relationships are a vital part of all of our lives. When our relationships are prospering then we are prospering. When our relationships are challenged, then so is our lives.

The first relationship we want to discuss today is one between Adult Children - Parent Relationship. You have probably heard it said to "Honor our mothers and fathers." and for children to "Obey their mothers and fathers." This is where some people get confused. Honoring and obeying are not the same thing. When we are adults, we don't have to obey our parents, we have to honor them. Honor does not mean doing everything our parents' want. Honor means supporting them. Honor means listening to them. Honor means not forgetting them. Honor means respecting them. Honor means sharing our lives with them. Honor means taking care of them if they need help. Honor means being a friend to them. Honor means...LOVING THEM!

The second relationship we want to talk about today is Brother to Brother or Sister to Sister. Now, I am not talking about siblings. All of us need friends of the same sex. We need those nights playing basketball with the guys or those chats with the girls. There are times that it is more comfortable sharing and discussing certain topics with someone of the same sex. Many times they will understand more clearly where you are coming from then someone of the opposite sex.

Relationships: The power to focus our lives. Let me leave you today with a story. One day, a lady (let's call her Sally), her husband, and their youngest son walked into a McDonald's restaurant. The couple was looking forward to spending some quality time alone with their son. As they were waiting in line for their food, all of a sudden all the people around them began to back away. Even Sally's husband backed away. Turning to see what all the commotion was about, Sally saw something she was not expecting. A sickening smell enveloped her. Directly behind her were two homeless men. The poor men probably had not bathed in days. One of the homeless men was smiling. He said, "Good day." He was counting the few coins he had in his possession. Sally noticed that his companion was mentally handicapped. Sally realized that this kind man had taken his companion under his wing.

When the two men got to the counter, they ordered only a coffee. It was all they could afford. All they wanted was to come in out of the cold. In order to sit in the restaurant they had to order something. The two men got their coffee and found a place to sit.

Compassion filled Sally's heart. She ordered two more breakfasts and walked up to the two men. Sally set down the tray and laid her hand on the first man's hand. He looked up with tears in his eyes and said, "Thank you." Sally looked at the man and with a heart full of love said, "I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope." Let us all give more hope today in all our relationships.

I would now like to invite you to receive a Free Preview of my inspirational book "Power Nuggets". You can receive it and sign up for our Free The Empower Newsletter at Corporate Training

From Mark Bowser of http://www.MarkBowser.com Thanks for reading today.

1. Commence with the commitment to make the marriage work.

2. Realize that you deceived each other in the courtship process and practice the skill of forgiving. While you were courting, you always put your best foot forward in order to accomplish your objective: marriage to the one you were courting. For this reason, you probably agreed to almost everything. Fortunately, you can overcome the problems that arise when you reveal those deceptions with a strong commitment and by recognizing that you not only want the marriage to work but also want to nurture it.

3. Endeavor at verbalizing your true feelings without taking punitive action against your mate. Say that you and your spouse swap cars, and when you switch back, you find that your mate has returned your car with the gas tank almost empty. Punitive action would be returning your mate's car with an empty tank the next time in order to get even. Instead, pleasantly say to your mate, "Honey, you may have noticed that when I use your car, I return it at least half full of gasoline. I would really appreciate it if you would show me the same courtesy." Chances are superb that if you handle the situation gently, lovingly, and with a big hug and smile, your mate will love you for it.

4. Build the skill of courteousness. Building the skill of courteousness is good advice for husbands and wives to follow. Discourtesy is really disrespect; you're seldom discourteous to anyone you truly respect. Marriage counselors say that one thing lacking in many poor marriages is genuine respect for each other. In marriage, we are often more discourteous than we are in friendships or in business relationships. Venting your anger in marriage and thinking that doing so costs nothing is irresponsible. Hurt relations always cost, especially in intimate relationships.

5. Junkthe words always and never from your vocabulary - as in "you always do this" or "you never do that." Those statements aren't true, and they can elicit nothing but a defensive retort from your life partner.

6. Work at looking for the good in your mate and work on finding the humor in problems. Many couples report that, in the midst of a heated argument, something hilarious happens or is said, perhaps an interruption by a child or an innocent but appropriate remark that hits the funny bone. At any rate, the anger immediately dissipates and laughter sets in - not at each other but with each other.

7. Keep in mind that your mate is not a mind reader. Many couples expect each other to know that they really don't enjoy being kidded about their expanding waistline, their receding hairline, their inability to wake up instantly, their dislike of sloppiness, or their need for support and encouragement about a specific thing. But you need to gently tell your mate what your needs are. He or she can't read your mind. Resentment builds within you if your mate doesn't meet a need or conducts himself or herself in a way that displeases you, but he or she may not have a clue as quandary bestting you.

Joey Plazo is passionate about executive coaching and attracting women to the world of NLP. He aids folks find obs in the Philippines .

In life, people make mistakes. Even the married couples are not spared because marriage is not all smooth sailing as in any other relationship. And so we hear stories about how two people fall in love with each other, eventually get into a serious relationship, get married until they find themselves in serious conflict with each other after a few months or years. The worse that can happen is they separate and decide to get a divorce.

Being in a relationship is not that easy. And sometimes when the people involved make mistakes, the relationship can be adversely affected. It's the same thing with marriage. When spouses commit mistakes and they fail to settle their issues, they can become unhappy and decide to quit. Separating, however, can be devastating particularly if the husband and wife have already invested years of emotions, love and security in their marriage.

It would be a good idea then to learn what these common mistakes are so you can avoid them. This is whether you're married now or are still planning to tie the knot in the coming weeks or months.

One of these relationship mistakes is being dishonest to your partner. If you're not open with your other half about who you really area, don't expect him or her to be honest with you as well. When you get married, eventually you'll get to know your spouse on a deeper level as you live together through the years. So right from the start, it's best to be just your natural self with no pretensions.

Not sharing your sentiments with your significant other is another thing. While this is common among men, women are guilty of this as well. Men often tend to keep to themselves when they are having emotional problems. Perhaps it's their nature to close themselves off so people and especially their wives won't think that they're weak just because they're crying or sulking. Society believes that boys don't cry the reason why they don't have to show their weak side.

But this should not be so. Keep in mind that you and your partner made a vow to stick together through good times and bad. As such, your other half needs to know as well what you're going through. So don't be ashamed to share whatever emotions you're feeling as this could actually make you closer together. Whether it's about work, family or friends that bother you, be open about it.

Still another mistake to avoid is neglecting yourself. Yes, you may be married to the person of your dreams but it doesn't mean that you'll have to take yourself for granted. What this means is you have to maintain your old friendships, your hobbies and interests. Remember that you have your own individual personality before you tied the knot and that doesn't have to change.

Whatever hobby or sport you're into, you can continue doing it and you don't have to force your spouse to engage in it. Allowing yourself to do this will give you more confidence, strength and security as an individual.

If you're able to avoid these mistakes, you have a greater chance of enjoying a satisfying marriage moving forward.

For helpful tips and information on marriage and family, visit TheMarriageCounselingBlog.com.

A true Facebook story:

I've recently read on Facebook the following status: "I've decided to stop with FB. This is my last status. Goodbye friends" .

And guess what! This guy has received tens of responses asking him, pleading with him, begging him not to stop. The end result: this guy not only didn't close his Facebook page, but began sending even more statuses than before, thanking everybody for their concern and encouragement, for their love and attention, and promising hem to have decided to stay with Facebook and with them...

The moral of the story:

Facebook can be a wonderful tool via which to receive attention, love, confirmation and approval. Everything you've always wanted to receive from "real friends" - and more!

Facebook provides us the love and attention we need

We all seek love and attention. This is normal and natural. And getting love, attention and approval on FB is easy and pleasing: your friends "like" your statuses; they respond affirmatively to what you write; they show you love and appreciation; they express concern to your well being (all of which is at times different from the reactions you receive from your spouse, parents or other face-to-face friends...).

All these feel so good! So comforting! There is (usually) no confrontation; no negation. Everybody responds so kindly, driving you to place more statuses and receive even more attention, praise, encouragement. You are "nice" to others by commenting affirmatively on their statuses and by indicating you "like" their statuses. They reciprocate the same. It all feels so connecting, so friendly. You feel you "belong" to a group. You are like "everybody else". You are "trendy".

And at the same time you can be lonely and anonymous - yet have many "friends" who interact with you. With them you can be "intimate". They don't ask you for nothing and don't require a thing. The more statuses you place, the more "like" and positive affirmations you receive.

The virtual world of Facebook

But is it really what you want from a real friend? Wouldn't you prefer to receive honest and true feedback which will help you move forward with whichever issues you struggle with? With whom you will be able to sincerely and authentically talk about your true self, your fears and needs, aspirations and fantasies, commitment and intimacy issues?

Facing yourself via Facebook can tell you much about yourself

An unfamiliar advantage of FB - from which you can benefit considerably - is to use your interactions on FB and your attitudes about these interactions to gaining insights and understanding yourself better.

The best way to doing so is to face yourself with questions such as:

* Which needs drive you to spend time on FB and be so thrilled about your interactions with your FB friends (for example: need for love and attention; need to escape your loneliness; need for affirmation)?
* Which fears enable you to make "friends" on FB easier than real-life ones (for example: fear of rejection; fear of intimacy; fear of commitment; fear of not being appreciated)?
* Which parts of yourself you feel free to reveal on FB which you don't in your daily interactions? Do you present on FB "who you really are" or pretend to be someone you are not?
* And other questions like these.

There is a lot you can learn about yourself as you observe yourself interacting with others on Facebook. Make the best of it - and become empowered to find love and develop successful relationships!

Doron Gil, Ph.D., an expert on Self-Awareness and Relationships, is the author of: "The Self-Awareness Guide to a Successful Intimate Relationship" Available as eBook and paperback: http://www.amazon.com/Self-Awareness-Guide-Successful-Intimate-Relationship/dp/143925141X/

Dr. Gil is a university teacher, workshop leader, counselor and consultant. He has taught classes on Self-Awareness and Relationships to thousands of students, lectured widely on these and related topics at conferences world-wide, and trained physicians, managers, school teachers and parents on how to develop Self-Awareness in order to improve their personal and professional relationships.

As scientifically and technologically progressive we are as a human race, the most important issue screaming for advancement is our current pattern of connecting and bonding with others. Statistically, 6 out of 10 marriages fail; others remain intact by supporting hidden agendas, and single people move in and out of relationships like a revolving door. There must come a time when we seek to expand our mind and our self out of conventional models of relating. Although convention need not be rejected since it is culturally/root based, the exploration of how we feel, and subsequent expansion of how we think is of greater service to us when we challenge our current views and consider healthy alternatives as we attract or invite others into our emotional environment.

Most often we think of a "relationship" in terms of romance and finding a mate. But there are other relationships we have in a lifetime: relationships defined by situations and circumstances (family, work, acquaintances) and relationships more consciously cultivated (friends and lovers). It is part of our experience to have a variety of human connections and interactions in our life; however we are prone to experience conflict between our situational relationships and those we choose. The reason is this; we usually separate our self in each relationship, acting out roles in an effort to keep us "safe" which will inhibit our natural and authentic self in the process.

Since we seem to be attracted to relationships of romance (searching for our missing half), let's look at main components/criteria in which we currently model; then explore alternative ways to enhance our experience.

Culturally we are encouraged and often pressured to find someone to share our life with; a soul mate. The motivation is usually a push from our family to get married and have children, or propelled socially/culturally by our peers because finding a mate is "what we do". This is troublesome because we feel pressured at a subconscious level and therefore look, seek, and search desperately for a partner. Our feeling is we "need" a mate and as a result we're going to make unconscious choices from our familial experiences and conditioning (how our parents/caregivers connected initially, the tone of their relationship, the ideals we create about family or romance based on positive and negative experiences, social norms, etc... ). All these factors come into play as we create yet another role/mask to become more attractive to our potential mate.

As common romantic scenarios go, two people meet, are physically attracted to each other (a lure for men and women alike); eyes lock, pheromones fly, smiles and gestures indicate attraction, and perhaps engaging conversation takes place. One to several dates later (maybe less) sexual intimacy seals the deal in what now qualifies as a romantic, love, and/or intimate relationship.

Interestingly enough, this is not the beginning of our romance. The relationship began when we set our intention to meet someone for this purpose: love, romance, intimacy, sex. By the time we meet someone, we are already midway through the romantic relationship process. This is because we have subconsciously or even consciously created a set of standards for this person to follow based on our story/past, our ideal, and ultimately our lie about the person we've chosen.

Oddly enough, a love story relationship like this can last a lifetime, a day or night time or somewhere in between. Our conventional/customary thought process accepts and supports this style of "love" relationship through multiple online dating sites, coupled with a climbing divorce rate as we change in and out of relationships like costumes in a play. Aspects of "conventional" are defined as "artificial" and "stereotype", which engenders us to live unnaturally and continue unhealthy cycles. Conflict and contradiction plague this model of relating due to the urgency we feel in "being with someone." How can we improve our ability to relate? Let's try friendship.

Friendship develops when we have a natural affinity for someone. It manifests from an innate sense of knowing, likeness, and trust, exclusive of sexual or family bonds; it is foundational in truly bonding with another. We do this as very young children, energetically bonding with others absent of superficial motives. But as we grow older, the pressures of our environment (our home and peers) begin to taint and affect our innocence in connecting; and our ego drive of survival and safety replaces our natural curiosity (innocence). We then create associations based on how others can meet our needs, reinforce our addictive patterns, and "co-sign our bullshit", instead of simply setting out to discover "who is this person?", and better yet "who am I when I am with this person?"

Acquaintances and networks more accurately fit into a category of what others can do for us, and is not to be confused with friendship. There is an emotional bond in friendship that acquaintances lack. Acquaintances are much more functional in our life, usually linked to abilities and specialties we haven't cultivated in this life (like doctors, lawyers, handy people, etc.) We loosely use the term "friend" in associating with others, when acquaintance is much more relevant. It is less likely that we have 150+ "friends" on social network sites; really, we have about four (4), and that's really good!

There are those of us who have lots of friends, and those of us who have none. What defines our ability to be a friend is emotional availability, commitment, and an understanding and acceptance of our emotional body that opens us to others. Trust is perhaps the main component of friendship. If that is damaged, most friendships suffer. But trust is not encompassed in our friends, but solely within our self. We must be willing to share our true nature with others and risk the vulnerability of bonding in order to feel, deal, and heal our emotional, mental, and spiritual body. This applies to all genders.

In the minds of most men and women exists a perception that the opposite sex cannot be friends due to heterosexual attraction that seems to pervade platonic relating. Platonic relating is that of a spiritual nature. It is seeing the spiritual and ideal beauty of another transcending beyond the physical. It is true love. So, why wouldn't we strive for platonic love? Because we're attached to getting our needs met and through satisfying our desires. This outward striving depletes our inner reservoir of peace.

To truly move into new realms of relating, we must be willing to explore our inner workings (how we feel) and identify the current patterns of our engagement with others. Through emotional awareness, we will understand our feelings and identify what drives our decisions. From there we can make healthier choices and new friends to support our growth. Old friends and/or the opposite sex can join us in our ascent towards higher consciousness.

The adventure to bond and understand others only manifests through our own journey in discovering who we are. As we travel the vast landscape of our inner self, we will invite others to show us who we are. Whether an "ally" or "enemy", we'll discover that our relationships are our creations which can be redefined at any moment... and that moment is just a conscious choice away.

For more information or to discuss this topic one-on-one, please contact Julia George of Aquarian Age @ 561-750-9292, or email aquarianagegallery@bellsouth.net or post comments at http://blog.aquarianawareness.com

Years ago I became interested in and began reading about Feng Shui. I became a believer as I read and tested some of these ideas. I've found that it has improved all areas of my life, especially romance. The idea that by moving objects around in my home could bring friendship and even love into my life intrigued me.

We each have different ideas of what is romantic. You decide what is romantic to you and do that. When I was single, my dining room was the relationship area. I hung a large picture of a knight in armor leaning from his horse to embrace a lovely young woman.

I painted my bedroom a lovely soft peach and placed a peach hurricane lamp on my bedside table. I called it my Love Lamp and put a heart shaped rose quartz next to the lamp.

One day when still dating my now-husband, I was feeling a bit insecure when he hadn't called. I turned on my Love Lamp and the phone rang. "This is really woo-woo" I thought. Woo-woo or not, I tried this several times and it always worked. It's another way of setting your intention and then allowing it to happen.

Our relationship area is in the kitchen. What can you do to make the kitchen a romantic spot? My husband and I found a poster of a couple dancing the Flamenco which we have had framed and hung it in the kitchen. Colors for the Love and Relationship area are red and pink, burgundy, or red-orange. We also hung a red metal Chinese love symbol on one wall that we found on a particularly delightful excursion to Cambria, California. In your relationship area do everything in twos, two roses, two people in pictures, etc.

If you want a new romance, use only paintings or photos of two happy people in your relationship area. Do not hang a painting of a lone person no matter how beautiful it is. The bedroom is not a place for family photos- only photos of the two of you taken in happy circumstances.

My husband and I have been and continue to be blessed in our relationship. I believe that is because we honor each other's space. Our own bedroom is painted in a warm soft terra cotta. A Himalayan salt lamp lends a soft warm glow to the room. A soft scarf over the chest of drawers and silk and velvet pillows on the bed give a luxurious feel to the room. Our room feels warm, comfortable, restful and inviting to us. That's the way yours should feel to you.

We express our personalities in our homes. You are the one who is living there. Make it feel good to you. Make it beautiful warm and inviting to you. Have fun with Feng Shui and see how it can transform your life.

Gail Manishor is the author of From Here to Serenity, A Spiritual Guide to Transform Your Life, Gail's mission is to help people come to the realization of the Truth of who they really are and guide them through her counseling and writing to a place of peace and serenity. Visit Gail's website at: http://gmanishor.com

Every relationship goes through with ups and downs. This challenging situation can be a good reason to strengthen or weaken the relationship. A couple may take the challenges as positive and may strengthen their relationship but on the other hand a couple may take it negatively and start to mistrust each other and relationship become weakens. It could result to breaking apart, which is the most painful feeling a person could feel. But when one is passionate with each other it is sometimes a need seek for relationship help.

In most break ups, it often leaves a broken heart and a feeling of disappointment or betrayal from the other party or it could be both. In dealing such painful feeling it requires the basic relationship help which is, learning to forgive. Forgiveness is not an easy move to make because it will require a person to face the truth with courage. When the goal is to ask forgiveness or be forgiven, a good communication should be established.

In most break ups, the difficult part is when couple decided to stop their communication. It is a sign of avoidance, avoiding one's true feelings for the other because they may think that it might best move to avoid the painful feelings. But how long would it take when you know that you want be together again?

It can be a good relationship help in bringing back your partner by starting with a good communication. Like in every relationship, it is always emphasize that good communication can be a key to a successful and lasting relationship. A best relationship help is to know how to open up the problems such as mistakes and misunderstanding. In this way, each individual can have an idea how to forgive and how to ask forgiveness and vice versa.

With a good communication it is best to try to search for the root cause of the break up. Sometimes when we are in the deep of our emotions we tend to disregard the cause rather we jump into conclusions which is breaking up. But by talking and searching for the cause of it, both may learn their differences within them and learn how to deal with it. Through solving the problem both can learn from that experience and grow with it to become a mature couple.

Though learning individual differences, it still hard to regain trust that had been broken already and this is where forgiveness could be hard. Then it is a must rebuild the trust to be able to forgive and forget those painful and hurtful feelings brought by the break ups.

After establishing a good communication, the next step is building again the friendship. It is nice to start again from the beginning by being friends. Since the trust is questionable when you broke up, a relationship helps when you regain that trust again by being friend with her/him. A strong foundation of friendship can be a good start of a good relationship. For in every relationship, a friendship is built within them that help them to trust one another.

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Are you currently doing things that may be negatively affecting your love relationship? We don't always understand the impact of the things we do or say until it's too late. It's important to avoid the things that inadvertently hurt or push our partner away.

Here are 10 things you should never do in a love relationship...ever!

1. Don't stop falling in love over and over again

Successful couples continually fall in love with each other. They find new reasons to be in love with their partner and don't let the petty day-to-day things ruin those feelings. Love doesn't have to die after commitment. In fact, it should grow to ever increasing heights. So, feel free to fall in love all over again....and again...and again.

2. Don't value being right over being loving

Too many of us want to be right more than we want to be loving. We choose winning an argument over continually winning the heart of our loved one. When you have to be right, you are simultaneously making your partner wrong. Don't engage in these 1 or the other conversations. Instead, value your partner's opinion and then offer up yours. They are both opinions, so 1 is not more or less correct than the other. They are simply 2 different perspectives. If you continue to make your partner feel wrong, they will stop offering their opinion to you. That doesn't lead to any place good.

3. Don't stop planning together for the future

It could be planning for the kid's college or the next vacation. It could be planning for retirement or for a friend's birthday party. The key is to keep planning together for the future. When you do so, you create common goals to pursue as a unit. This strengthens the bonds of partnership, friendship, and mutual admiration. Find something you are both interested in doing, and work on it together. You are either growing closer together or further apart. Planning together helps to keep you growing together.

4. Don't stop being attractive for your partner

Many couples stop doing the things that led to the relationship in the first place. If you figured that once you were in a committed relationship that you could stop engaging in attractive behaviors, you were mistaken. Each person in the partnership expected the other to continue doing and saying the things they found attractive. So, flirt. Wear clothing that your partner finds you flattering in. Remind your partner how attractive they are to you. Be playful, be thoughtful and be loving. Be irresistible to your partner and allow them to return the favor.

5. Don't embarrass your partner publicly

Remember this simple rule: Praise publicly and criticize privately. When the need arises to tell your partner something difficult, do so in the most humble, loving, respectful and honest way possible. In public, tell everyone about how fantastic your partner is. Talk about the things you find best in them. Positive attention is a reward of sorts, and what gets rewarded gets repeated. Your partner trusts you with their heart and emotional security. Don't publicly criticize your partner.

6. Don't say "Always" or "Never" while arguing

Whenever we say our partner always does something or never does something, we are exaggerating. The discussion then turns to how the partner being accused must defend themselves against this blatant mischaracterization. The conversation then turns to how you always or never do something. Let's avoid all of this. When you partner does something you don't appreciate, say so then and there. Be respectful, yet honest. Don't pull in past issues. Avoid saying the words "always" and "never" at all costs. Focus on the event or the issue at hand only. Work together to decide how it should be handled next time. Then move on.

7. Don't use intimacy as a weapon

Do you grant intimacy or take it away as a method of persuading your spouse to do what you want? If so, you are cheapening a relationship expression of love by making it a tool of negotiation. Eventually, your partner may not want to express intimacy towards you or receive it from you because of the conditions attached to it. There should be no conditions on expressions of love. Therefore, stop using intimacy as a weapon. This is your partner! Intimacy should come with no strings attached. It is a beautiful and loving expression that should not be used to manipulate your partner.

8. Don't talk negatively about your partner to others

So, your partner does something you think is disrespectful. You tell your friends about it. Later, you and your partner determine it was a simple misunderstanding. When you come back around your friends with your partner, what is their impression? Are they seeing your partner as a disrespectful person? Do they have a full understanding that there was simply a miscommunication between you? We are quick to tell everyone about the bad, and very slow to tell them about the good. Be careful. You could be ruining your partner's reputation even as you know them to be a great person. Avoid talking negatively about your partner.

9. Don't stop nurturing the relationship

Constantly look for ways to assist your partner. Listen with the intent to understand as they talk about things that are important to them. Be present for all of your partner's major life moments. That includes illness, major victories, crushing defeats, and family events. Go out on dates. Vacation together. Treasure warm conversation over a hot meal. Express love to each other in the way your partner needs to receive it. Be supportive at all times. Remember that the one you love and gave your heart to is worthy of the very best from you.

10. Don't break your commitments

Your commitment to monogamy is crucial; so don't go looking outside for what you already have at home. If you say you are going to do something, do that very thing when and how you promised it to be done. Your word has value that diminishes each time you don't honor your commitments. So, honor yourself and your partner by honoring your commitments. Do what you said you would do each and every time. Your partner will appreciate you more for it.

James LeGrand is an Author, Life Strategist, and the publisher of http://www.SpiritualIndividual.com, a free weekly newsletter that presents solutions to life's issues through the lens of self-help, wisdom, philosophy and spirituality. He is the author of an Amazon.com best seller in Religion and Spirituality titled Evolve, and an Expert Author with Ezine Articles.com & SelfGrowth.com. James LeGrand is also a Radio Personality, and a Sifu in Shaolin Kungfu, which has been known for centuries as a pathway to spiritual enlightenment.

If you're like a lot of people in long-standing married or committed relationships, you may be secretly wishing your love relationship was as close and loving as it used to be. There seems to be separation and disconnection and you just don't look at each other the same way as you used to. There's probably a lot of friendship and maybe cooperation between you but the passion has died or at least dimmed a little throughout the years.

The good news is that you can rekindle passion that has died. It just takes a bit of refocusing, looking at your partner in a new way and it starts outside of the bedroom.

If you don't know where to start turning up the heat and putting more life and love back into your relationship, here are some suggestions...

1. It may be trite but so true...never go to bed angry. Of all the couples we've talked with and interviewed who have been married 30, 40, and 50 years, this is the most consistent advice they have given us. Take some time when something comes up between the two of you to talk it out.

2. Be generous with sincere compliments and thanks. Sincere compliments and thanks can uplift you and your partner-and can draw you closer. So often a compliment or a word of thanks is followed up by a complaint. If this is your habit, stop doing it.

3. Continue to explore each other. There's always something new you can learn about your loved one, even if you have been together for many years. Don't assume that you know everything about them.

4. Be kind to each other. We're always amazed at how many people say they love one another and they aren't very kind to each other. Being kind means using kind words and being considerate of each other. Even if you have been together a long time, treat each other as you would treat someone of immense importance to you.

5. Even if you are busy or tired, open your heart to your partner. Opening your heart means taking the time to listen and understand your partner. It means telling your partner what's important to you and not making assumptions.

These are just a few of the things that bring us closer and help us to make each day
special together and keep our relationship alive, passionate and filled with love.

Always remember that love is a choice that we open up to in every moment. You always have the choice of where you place your attention. We hope that you'll join us in choosing love more of the time.

Susie and Otto Collins are Relationship Coaches and authors who help people create lives that are filled with more passion, love and connection.

For more tips on turning up the heat in your love relationship, sign up for their free mini-course at http://www.RedHotLoveRelationships.com

Through our research, we've found that a wonderfully
harmonious bond (and variations of it) between two
people, whether it is a work, family, friendship, or love
relationship, is either there, or it isn't.

We've also found that past lives with other people
strongly influence what is experienced with them today.

Therefore, past life regression, when the focus is on
the root cause of a problem and forgiveness, can
definitely help to heal present life relationships.

Don't believe in reincarnation? It doesn't matter.

Whether past life scenes perceived in past life
regression are real or imagined, both believers
and skeptics can benefit from this powerful
therapy.

But can the power of love and forgiveness alter
destiny?

If a relationship is meant to end, based on the
personal timing of the individuals involved and
what they (their souls, not their personalities)
decided before incarnating, can they (their
personalities) choose to override that?

Well, as we've said before, our position is that you
can't cheat fate. Of course, the couple could stay
together if they really wanted to, but it would likely
feel unnatural (if they were honest with themselves)
and potentially cause a lot of stress.

The good news is that if you change your perspective
of love relationships by dropping your expectations
(for permanence, someone to "complete" you, and the
other relationship traps in our society that you're
conditioned to embrace) and accept each relationship
as it's meant to be, they become less difficult and more
satisfying. Of course, starting with a solid foundation of
self love and respect is important too.

Our comprehensive numerology and astrology
(compatibility and individual personal cyclical timing),
along with psychic/intuitive readings indicates to us
the level of compatibility and the timing of relationship
rewards and challenges.

For example, we could indicate, on a scale of 1-100, just
how compatible you are with your mate as seen through
our work.

Also, we could indicate the duration potential of your
bond. In other words, we'd tell you when things were,
are, and will be "good" and when they aren't, along with
our professional opinion as to if the relationship has "seen
better days."

Copyright © 2007 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo

Scott Petullo and Stephen Petullo are identical twins and have been exploring metaphysics since the early 1980?s. They are experts in the fields of prediction, personal fate, love life, and past life regression, and are natural psychics and mediums. Get their free report: 13 Spiritual and New Age Myths and 11 Questions to Ask before hiring Psychic. http://www.mystictwins.com http://www.holisticmakeover.com

Healthy and sweet relationship is the nectar that all of us aspire at the end of the day. Really, the conjugal relationship is expected to be full of merriment and meaningful for every couple. If we look around, we find that the people surrounding us also need some kind of support with better attitude and lively connections with each other to make this wonderful world, a place for enjoyment and happiness. This is one face of the relationship value, but there is an opposite side as well. And, it pains to say so that a lovely and positive relationship turns sour mostly on trivial grounds. The sudden change in the environment makes us feel that, it is not roses all along, but thorns are there in the way. We call it the truth because we suffer from the agony.

To my mind, a relationship turns weary due to one feature, which is present in most of us with the difference in the degree of intensity. The culprit in our character is ego. Best friends turn enemies when the ego takes the drivers seat and rules our minds. The bondage of friendship in a marital relationship is smashed cruelly, when one of them plays slave in the hands of ego. We must learn to improve our nature of thinking and find out a common platform to avoid individual sufferings.

We can make the world better and keep our relationship intact, if we allow some space for the other person in our lives. In all spheres of our contacts such as in conjugal life, friendship or in workplaces, if you leave a little room for the other partner to have his or her say, we can create a better world for us to live in. Let us not give too much importance to the power of individual ego, which never bears any positive result.

The author has written many articles on various topics including relationship matters. For more information about the subject visit: Agony Aunt

Friendship is a special bond that often blooms into a romantic relationship with the opposite sex. It does not happen always but when it happens it is a sensitive situation. You need to take care in this situation.

Know his heart before you own it

Friendship helps you know him even before you make him your own. Remember that although he is so like you, he is not. He may have his own point of view and respecting each others' viewpoint is the best way to become more intimate.

Compromise is a strict no no!

Respecting his viewpoint does not mean compromising on your own beliefs. Do not compromise your own principles to please him. Remember this relationship is worth a lifetime. So love him only if he deserves you. A strong personality and determined attitude is what presents a woman in the right light. Men definitely prefer sensible women.

Now that you know him and you feel he really is the Mr. Right you have been looking for, here are couple of tips to make him think on the same lines about you too!

Look your best when he is around

To make him fall in love, dazzle him with your looks. It is a fact that in spite of all the technological advancement in the world, men still fall for women with attractive looks. On the opposite, women fall for men with attractive personality. An attractive personality with the right dressing sense makes every man's head turn. Your dressing style tells a lot about your persona and how you are feeling. So express yourself, make him know that you are beautiful inside out and see him go crazy about you.

Know the shortcut

Emotions are the shortcut to his heart. Be there when he needs you. As you both are friends, he may seek emotional support from you. Add a little more depth to this without transgressing your friendship, if you are still not sure about his feelings for you. This emotional intimacy with you may spark the love and is surely a signal that he has developed a special liking for you. It will not take too long for him to propose to you.

Don't get disheartened

Even after the emotional intimacy, he may still not show any keenness for your friendship to mature into a romantic one. Be patient sooner or later he will understand and accept you. Remember Rome was not built in a day.

Wishing you all the best in making your friend, a partner for life!

K V Gautam has written extensively on dating and relationships. Currently, he provides dating tips for men on a leading entertainment Web portal http://www.fundoofun.com/

For reading more useful and informative tips on dating and relationships kindly visit http://www.fundoofun.com/

As Kathy contemplates her answer to her boyfriend Greg's proposal-- that they move in together-- she is filled with a mixture of excitement, joy, fear and dread.

The last thing that Kathy wants is for this long-term relationship to be like her marriage that ended in divorce 3 years ago after her husband (at the time) had an affair with their neighbor.

There's no doubt in her mind that Kathy loves Greg and that he loves her. Her hesitation and worry come from not wanting to make the same mistakes in this relationship that she did in her marriage.

Over time, from Kathy's perspective, these relationship mistakes seem inevitable. She wonders if allowing her relationship with Greg to go to the next level is worth risking getting hurt again.

There is probably not a single love relationship or marriage that's ever happened that did not involve blunders or worse. If you're in a relationship, chances are high that both of you will slip up in some way from time to time.

Making a mistake doesn't necessarily mean that the relationship is doomed to be unhappy or to fail.

What all of this does mean is that you and your mate need to stay awake. Be aware when you two are falling into habits that are driving a wedge between you. Find the courage to talk about what's going on in ways that point you toward solutions

And, then, follow through and actually make the necessary changes.

Here are 3 common relationship mistakes and what you can do about them...

#1: Making assumptions.

You might find yourself assuming that your partner will think, feel or act in particular ways simply because he or she has in the past, because your former partner was like that or because you believe that all men or all women are this way.

Whatever is leading you to jump to a conclusion that your mate is or wants to be loved THIS way and not THAT way, question it.

Regardless of how long you have been married or in this relationship, don't assume that you know everything that there is to know about your partner. This is likely to lead to dissatisfaction, resentment and tension.

Instead, take the time to ask questions from a place of curiosity and really listen to what your partner says in response to your questions.

#2: Putting your relationship on the back burner.

We know, it can be a challenge to keep your relationship a priority in your life when you are also trying to earn a living, care for your children, maintain friendships, fulfill personal interests and make it to the gym a few times a week too.

Phew!

Life can get super busy and far too many couples put their relationship on the back burner with the intention to focus energy on it when everything calms down and there is more time.

One complaint that is often made by our readers about their relationships is that their partner neglects them. They feel unimportant and unloved. In cases like these, it is too tempting for the neglected partner to look outside the relationship for what's perceived as missing.

Set aside even 5 minutes each and every day for you and your mate to spend checking in with one another. Hold hands, look into each other's eyes and share what's going on for you. This doesn't have to be a gut-wrenching, soul-baring kind of sharing.

What is most important is that you and your partner are taking regular time to feed and nurture your connection with one another.

#3: Stop expressing your love and appreciation for one another.

For a FREE report from relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins for reversing relationship habits that cause disconnection visit PassionateHeart.com

Susie and Otto Collins have written these e-books and programs to help couples connect and communicate: Magic Relationship Words, Relationship Trust Turnaround, No More Jealousy and Stop Talking on Eggshells among many others.

What makes a loving relationship? Lots and lots of things, all based around a central theme of love, respect and friendship. There is no great secret as to what makes a loving relationship, just a willingness to work at the relationship day after day, in good times and bad. You cannot really call it work can you? Doing your best to look after and make happy the love of your life.

Couples who are in a loving relationship will give of themselves without expecting any reward, they instinctively know what the other needs and will help and support their partners without a second thought. They are able to do this because apart from the fact that they want to, they have taken the time to learn what their partner needs from the relationship and they are happy to help them achieve it. However to reach this kind of nirvana you have to be prepared to make yourself vulnerable.

You need to know and understand your partner and they need to know you. If you do not know your partner how can you help them to grow within the relationship, how can they help you? You need to be completely open and honest with each other, this will mean letting each other into areas where you could be vulnerable but it will bring you much closer together. If you hold back from your partner the you are automatically throwing up walls and to a degree pushing your partner away. You need to ask yourselves, what kind of relationship can you have if your partner only knows a part of you.

It is true that opposites attract and I am sure that there are opposites who have gone on to build very successful relationships. What will help you is if you like your partner, if your partner is your best friend, if you have shared interests. If all goes well you could be together for decades, it is a long time to be with someone if you do not like them.

One of the great pillars of a loving relationship is communication, which is hardly surprising when you look at how many aspects of the relationship are affected by communication. Communication pulls you together, it helps you to share thoughts, ideas, emotion and new experiences. It all helps to enrich your relationship.

In addition to talking with each other, you need to be able to spend quality time together when it is just the two of you. This will be a lot easier at first but as time passes on there will be work commitments, kids and a host of other things that life will throw at you. It is far to easy to forget that the important thing in the relationship is you two, nothing else matters as much, so you need that time together or else you will drift apart. Go on dates, vacations, walks, movies, it does not matter what you do, the important thing is that you get some you time where you take pleasure in each others company, bring yourselves closer together and dare I say it... You might even enjoy yourselves. I am sure that you enjoyed dating when you started building your relationship, there is no reason why you should stop enjoying yourselves!

Do not forget to give yourselves some me time. You are going to have your own friends and interests and you need time to devote to them. It will help you to unwind, give you something to talk about and bring fresh ideas and experiences to the relationship.

So what makes a loving relationship? You do. Comfort and support your partner, offer your energy without expecting anything in return. Just as you made a commitment to be with your partner are you consistent in your love for them. You do not get to choose the good bits or the bad bits in a relationship, you will face some rocky times but if you have a strong, healthy loving relationship you will find a way through and you will do it together. Keep a hold of your individuality, it is what makes you, it is who you are. Accept who your partner is, after all they have something which drew you to them so do not lose it by trying to change your relationship into some kind of sterile ideal. Focus on the positives and not the negatives and take pleasure in sharing your partners life.

Being a student of life I thought it about time to get my ideas down in the hope that they will help people with whatever difficulties they are facing. If you want to read further into the mysteries of understanding the opposite sex and relationships then my site might be of interest to you. Whatever your situation I wish you luck.
http://www.reviewthemagicofmakingup.com

Love is one of the most common topics that people often talk about. As a matter of fact, it is also one of the most frequent Googled words. That simply means that there are a lot of people who have questions and who are seeking for answers regarding love. We started hearing this word at a very young age and we often believe that we feel towards another person is true love and then we realize one day that it is not. But there are different types of love relationships. It is important that you are aware so read further to understand.

There are many definitions of love. Some people even say that love has no exact meaning. Even wise men have different opinions regarding love. There are also several theories that have been formulated by different people. But every experience of love is unique and oftentimes the meaning that they attach to this word is based on their own feelings and emotions.

One type is the liking love wherein intimacy, sharing secrets and feelings are very much involved. This is often associated with friends. There is closeness between persons. Another one is the infatuated love which is more focused on erotic attraction. This is the most type of love that a person experience towards another. There are passion and longing to be with another person. Other people may not be aware of it but they may be involved in another type called the empty love. There are some couples who only remain to be in a relationship because of commitment. This is common among people with arranged marriage.

Another type is the romantic love wherein both passion and intimacy are involved. It could be that there is or there is no commitment involved. This often happens during the first few months of any love relationship and could also reach a point where it disappears. The type that most successful marriage relationships have is the companionate love. It is important that couples share a good foundation of friendship so that they could last long. There is also the fatuous love which is filled with fire and commitment. This usually occurs among long term relationships. The key ingredients here are trust and intimacy. Lastly, the Consummate love is considered the best type because the ingredients needed to sustain relationships are all present which include passion, commitment and intimacy. And both married individuals should strive to acquire this type.

Lam Bong is an Author living in Sydney, Australia. He is interested in reading and creating websites. His latest website is about dating Korean women and dating Malaysian women on the web today.

A compatible relationship is what most people strive
for, and it's always nice to hear about a happy couple
in a fulfilling relationship.

People wanting to get married would be smart to
seriously consider the following questions:
What do you seek through marriage? A ceremony to
declare your love and a chance to get together with
family and loved ones? Romantic partnership
permanence? Do you hope it will add something to
your connection that you feel is absent at this time?

Marriage was originally intended for practical and
economic reasons. People could not survive unless
they pooled their skills and resources. Due in part by
romantic fantasy perpetrated by movies and fairy
tales, marriage today includes unrealistic expectations
such as being someone's "everything" for life.
Surprisingly, even with the high divorce rates, this
tradition is still a popular choice.

Some say it's because you need marriage for kids, or
that marriage is about commitment. But you can be
responsible parents or commit to each other without a
marriage license.

Those who oppose marriage contend that legally
binding agreements, in an attempt to cement
relationships, primarily reflect fear and a lack of
trust and are more about money than love.

There is no level of compatibility "good enough" for
marriage, because two individuals who are very
compatible now may not be in ten years. Furthermore,
marriage is just a legal construct that has nothing to do
with unconditional love, which is what many claim to
marry for. By unconditional love, we're referring to a
lack of conditions such as "If you do this for me, I'll do
that for you."

Ideally, marriage would be completely about
unconditional love. It wouldn't be like modern
marriage is today.

There would be no unhappiness about a partner not
doing what they are expected to do financially, there
would be no disputes about having to spend time with
the partner's friends and family, and there would be a
lack of expectations in the bedroom, just to name a few.

As we have constantly found in our work, most
relationships have time limits, as do friendships and
business associations. Sound unromantic? Truth isn't
always romantic, but embracing it will save you a lot
of heartache. You don't have to physically leave a
relationship for it to be over, as many married couples
will tell you if they are brutally honest. Additionally,
children know when their parents are unhappy and
all too often the parents end up setting a bad example
relating to complacency and deceit.

How can you tell if a romantic connection has seen
better days? A few examples include the following: all
attempts at spicing up the bond fall flat; one or both
partners become increasingly interested dating other
people; sex becomes routine and boring or nonexistent;
the sexual attraction fades significantly or disappears; one
or both feel as if they have learned as much as they were
supposed to learn; and it simply doesn't feel right to stay
together.

Life-long, satisfying monogamy is desired by many,
but is it natural or realistic? Some couples completely
lose interest in sex with each other and settle for
companionship or are willing to make great sacrifices
and be unhappy in order to avoid ending their relationship,
but more and more couples are accepting that most
relationships are not meant to last forever.

In our view, love relationships serve primarily as
grounds for shared spiritual lessons and goals, rather
than the currently accepted, outdated, fear-based
sociological standard as outlined above. Many norms
in society will be seen as absurd by future generations,
and we expect that traditional marriage will be one of
them.

An aside, for those who desire to deepen their
understanding of their partner (especially before
getting married), compatibility analyses involving
psychic insight, comprehensive astrology, numerology,
and graphology outlining key challenges and rewards is
a great way to open the door to more love.

We recommend to those considering marriage to
communicate with their partner about commitment,
and discuss feelings about money, children, relatives,
friends, etc. But don't expect or even hope that the
love would be permanent if you got married, since no
couple is compatible enough to meet and exceed the
present day expectations of marriage.

"Getting married to make a relationship permanent is
like buying a summer home to make summer last forever."

Copyright © 2007 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo

Scott Petullo and Stephen Petullo are identical twins and have been exploring metaphysics since the early 1980?s. They are experts in the fields of prediction, personal fate, love life, and past life regression, and are natural psychics and mediums. Get their free report: 13 Spiritual and New Age Myths and 11 Questions to Ask before hiring Psychic. http://www.mystictwins.com http://www.holisticmakeover.com

There are many kinds of love, but what this article is concerned with is that form of love usually known as 'romantic love' or 'true love'. So what is romantic love and why do we need to define it?

Quite often we come across the scenario that a man or woman in a relationship is asking him or herself the question: "Is it love?" So, how can someone tell? Then there is another scenario, sometimes used in Hollywood movies as a plot device, wherein somebody doesn't actually believe in romantic love -- in its actual existence -- and so is willing to settle for something much less... until the right man or woman comes along, of course!

Then again, there is the phenomenon of so-called "love at first sight". Is this emotion that appears in a single moment something that a couple can base a lifelong commitment upon?

Here are my own views on the question of what is love, based on my life's experiences.

Firstly, "love at first sight". All the time we see other people who we find attractive. Some of them are more attractive than others. Some of them are very attractive indeed. If we see someone who falls into the latter group, and there are also other things about the person that makes him or her appear as a possible partner (for the human mind is very good at making judgments like this in a split-second, based on factors such as clothing style, what the other person is doing at the time, context and so on) then this combination of emotionally powerful components can be so strong as to qualify as "love at first sight".

There are many couples whose relationship has begun in this way, but mere physical attraction, however strong, is not enough in itself to provide a basis for a lifelong relationship. This brings us on to the real heart of the question "what is love" -- what is it that enables us to have a long-term, even lifelong, relationship with another human being?

It certainly can begin with attraction of the "love at first sight" kind, or something approaching that in intensity, though with some love relationships physical attraction is not the catalyst to start them into life. But from whatever basis a relationship begins -- physical attraction or friendship or other circumstances -- if the relationship is to continue and the individuals concerned are not to "fall out of love", they must find each other's personalities delightful. If you "fall in love at first sight" with someone whose personal habits -- you subsequently discover -- start to irritate you, and whose views and opinions annoy you, then you will quickly find yourself falling out of love. So, you must like the other person very much as a person. And, the feeling must be mutual, of course.

Once you have attraction, followed by a mutual liking of personalities, this then leads to a deep friendship, a friendship that becomes deepened by sexuality. It becomes a friendship to beat all other friendships and relationships, and a closeness greater than any experienced before.

And that's really all there is to it, the deepest kind of friendship that began as physical attraction and moved on to a closeness greater than any other in the lives of the people concerned. It's romantic love. And it is something that, with careful nurturing, can last a lifetime.

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Recently, a long time friend told me that her new psychotherapist had given her a diagnosis based upon her symptoms. At first, she was actually excited to be able to put a label on her experiences. She felt heard and understood and validated. But she didn't stop there. She went online to research the definition, accompanying symptoms, and treatment potential for this psychological diagnosis. Upon hearing the specific diagnosis, my immediate thought was, "Right, that diagnosis really fits with her erratic behavior and hypersensitive reaction to other people's words and actions."

A few days later, my friend left me a frantic phone message asking me to please call her because she was really upset about that therapist's diagnosis of her. She also sent me a very long email delineating and refuting, in detail, each and every criterion and symptom. I called her immediately and listened while she questioned, explained and offered many explanations for why this diagnosis was not accurate and how she had been misjudged and invalidated, again. My first thought was, "The lady doth protest too much!"

Then my friend asked, "Do you think this diagnosis fits me?" My knee-jerk response would have been to cite the numerous examples of situations that I had personally experienced with her in which she did behave in ways that did fit the criteria for this diagnosis. But I stopped myself from speaking and thought for a moment: "This is my friend. She has told me over and over again how she has always felt invalidated - by her family, friends, boyfriends, and others. What is she really asking me for? What does she really want from me?"

Validation! Acceptance! Love! Compassion! Understanding! Gentleness! Caring!
That's what my friend was asking for from her long time friend. She was not asking me to tell her that the therapist is correct and she is wrong. She was not asking me to help her to see all the ways she has consistently fit the criteria of that diagnosis.

My friend has had lots and lots of validation that she is wrong, she is unworthy, she should change something about herself, and she should not speak up to defend herself. During that phone call, my friend was in one of her most vulnerable moments, a moment when she was trying to validate her own self and explain all the ways that she was healthy rather than unhealthy.

In the name of friendship, I could have spoken before thinking and reminded her of all the times she has behaved in ways that fit that diagnosis. The result: I would have been one more person invalidating someone I supposedly care about and love.

Think about it. What is the purpose of love and friendship? Are we here to be our best friend's teacher or our lover's psychotherapist? Are we here to prove that we are right, that we know what is best for someone else? Are we here to validate the experts and strangers while invalidating the vulnerable person who is closest to us?

True friendship and true love, I believe, is a state of total acceptance of the other person? When your friend, your lover, or your spouse upsets you, try saying to your self, "He is a perfect Charley, no matter what he does, because what he does reflects Charley's way of being." "She is a perfect Carol, no matter what she does, because what she does reflect's Carol's way of being."

Then, the choice is yours. Do you truly love this person? Can you accept this person exactly the way he or she is? If not, if you really believe that this other person needs to change before you can accept him or her, then maybe you should part ways. It is not up to you whether another person should or should not change. It is always that person's choice. Your choice is whether or not you can accept that person "as is" and focus your attention on altering your own attitudes and behavior. As you shift your focus back onto your own self, you might be delightfully surprised by a shift in the other person. If not, just keep focusing on your own perspective and then decide what is right for you.

Dr. Erica Goodstone has helped thousands of men, women, couples, and groups to develop greater awareness of the issues in their relationships and their lives, to overcome and alleviate stressors and discords, and revitalize their relationships and their own mind-body-spirit connection. Dr. Goodstone is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Licensed Marriage Therapist and Board Certified Sex Therapist. Former professor of health and physical education for over two decades, Dr. Goodstone taught courses in health education and alternative approaches, stress management, yoga (including relaxation, breathing, meditation, guided imagery, chanting, hatha yoga postures, and yogic nutrition), as well as many different physical activity and dance courses. In addition, she has trained in various body therapy methods and somatic body psychotherapy (combining talk with touch). Her main methods are The Rubenfeld Synergy Method, Polarity Therapy, and Somatoemotional Release. Dr. Goodstone can be contacted through her web sites at http://www.DrEricaWellness.com and http://www.sexualreawakening.com

At one point in my life I thought I could write poetry so I did, I wrote a poetry entitled Love. I was quiet proud of myself, I even nicknamed myself Lyrical One. In reality it was not a very good poem, but at that time I thought it was. The poem was about human love relationships and divine love relationships. In human relationships I defended love by pointing out the errors of human nature. In divine love relationships I pointed out the unconditional love from within.

Today there are more people looking for love than there are people in love. Why is that? I think love has now become a fantasy, a dream, a figment of the imagination, a possible impossibility. The divorce rate is high with money and infidelity being the leading causes; there is a rise in domestic violence resulting in death and suicide; women are portrayed as sex objects in the media; the rate of teenage pregnancy and single parenting continues to rise; and recently bullying has become a major problem resulting in children and teenagers committing suicide. Clearly there is a lack of love in human relationships.

The fact is love requires hard work, commitment and perseverance. In the beginning of love relationships people go through what is called the honeymoon phase. Love is new and exciting and couples tend to fall in love with the feelings of being in love. Once the honeymoon phase is over and reality sets in, some couples tend to encounter conflict, and they may no longer feel the same as they did in the beginning of the relationship. The feeling of love begins to drift away and habits that were cute in the beginning become annoying. Some couples are able to bounce back, some never do.

I believe one of the biggest challenges of love is growing together. As individuals we change as we grow older; our habits, likes and dislikes are altered. For example, people who dated in college and met again 20 years later, have to get reacquainted because so much about each person has changed over the years. It takes effort to grow together as a couple, as each partner changes interests they should simultaneously acknowledge and support each other's changes.

My observational experience from being around older couples that have been married for 40, 50, and 60 years is love thrives on consistency. Most couples felt the same way about each other as they did when they first met. The common factor among these couples was consistency; they did the same things they did when they first met. They talked, went out on dates, were romantic, and enjoyed each other's company. The common factor among all these couples was friendship; they were each other's best friend. I then concluded that couples should like and love each other.

My poem ended with my experience of unconditional love on a day to day basis. I wrote about self love which I later realized can be spiritual in nature. Love begins from within, a popular statement is "one must love oneself before anyone can love him or her." This statement has been proven true time and time again when addressing the problem of people looking for someone to make them happy or to love them.

It is my humble opinion that people should try being friends before becoming lovers. It is possible to love but not like a person. I believe this happens when people are not exactly compatible. Two people can love each other because they share some strong desirable qualities. But overall not like each other because there are qualities they simply do not like about each other, which happen to progress overtime. Despite the statistics of failing relationships, I truly believe that love can be successful when done right, and love can be a beautiful thing when you know how to love.

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When do the lines between love and friendship become wavy? Is there a period when love and friendship begin to merge? What are some of the signs that your friend may want something more? What to do when graduating between love and friendship?

There have many examples of a relationship beginning as nothing more than a friendship, only to wind up as something much more. This is actually perfectly natural as most marriages should be based on friendship as they are more likely to be successful in the long run. However, when the lines between love and friendship begin to blur, it can be confusing. Keep reading for tips on how to tell when love and friendship start to co-mingle.

Comments

Often our friends are the first ones to see a sign of romance. One sign that a friend may need to be something more is if your friends start to make comments about how cute the two of you would be as a couple. It is very possible that they may have picked up on little looks or smiles that the two of you are subconsciously giving each other.

Random Phone Calls

If the guy you have been friends with for a while all of a sudden begins making late night phone calls, he may be ready for a more romantic relationship with you. In addition, pay attention to what you talk about on these calls. If they last a while and you discuss your day, then it is a clear sign that the nature of the relationship may soon change.

Pet Names

Friendship can often become love when the two of you begin to develop pet names for each other. This can take place when you go from calling each other by name and replace them with such things as Sweetie or Babe. In addition, if these names don't make things awkward between the two of you, it may be time to take the friendship to the next level. If you also find your heart melting whenever he uses one of these pet names, you are more than ready for a romantic relationship with your friend.

Touching Increases

It is common to give your friend a pat on the back or on the arm, but when those pats start to linger a little bit more, it could be a sign that there is something more than just friendship between the two of you. In addition, if the high fives have now moved on to gentle hand holding, that is another sign that the romantic feelings are beginning to build. Also look for hugging and a gentle kiss on the forehead or cheek as signs that your friendship is about to take a different turn.

Spending Time Together

You may also be ready for more than just friendship when the two of you begin pairing off when in a group environment. While it is natural to lean toward one person, if you find yourself doing it time and time again, you may subconsciously attracted to him and it may be time to act on those feelings.

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Janice Evans is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.