Top Ten Things Singles Should Never Say Before the Fifth Date

Many singles continue to slam into the wall of rejection early in the dating process simply because they haven't learned what not to say! Unfortunately, those racing for the door rarely tell the person they're fleeing from what went wrong. If you're having a hard time getting past initial phone calls, don't get follow up dates or ever sense the brakes slamming on in the middle of an otherwise promising conversation, never utter the following until you give the relationship time to form:

10. "I used to have a drinking problem."

Red flags go the moment these words leave your mouth! It's ok to be honest and tell the truth. Furthermore, you should never lie, but telling someone you're interested in dating such information too early in the process is a guaranteed relationship stopper! The same goes for drug, gambling, eating disorder or pornography problems! Do what it takes to overcome the problem, then take your time and let your love interest get to know you before you lay your past on them!

9. "I've been married multiple times!"

It happens, but don't advertise it! If you must utter these words, follow them up with what you've learned, how you've changed and what you're going to do differently to ensure it doesn't happen again! A good person won't hold your past against you, but smart people know the past is a good indicator of what they can expect in the future!

8. "I lost my license!"

It's almost impossible to come up with a good explanation as to why you can't drive. If you've lost your license, take a break from dating, do the mental health work you've been avoiding and earn your license back before you re-enter the dating pool! Having a parent, friend or child drive you to a date is a surefire way to ensure you won't get a second chance with Mr. or Ms. Right!

7. "I have bad health!"

Many do, but not what you want to tell someone until you have some time together under your belt. Take care of yourself, do what the doctor says and give someone a chance to know you better before you tell them all the men in your family have died before age 40!

6. "I declared bankruptcy!"

Not uncommon in today's economy, but not helpful to disclose early on! Get your financial house in order, live within your means and wait until you get to know someone, before you disclose your past.

5. "You're the answer to my prayers about my finances, children or any other problem!"

People want partners, not projects. If your life is chaotic and needs rescuing, you shouldn't be dating! See a financial planner, learn how to parent more effectively save and become the type of person someone else would be smart to date!

4. "My ex is a psycho path!"

Many are, but not helpful to know early on! If you have a troubled relationship with your ex learn how to set boundaries, resolve conflict and let go of residual bitterness. When you do reach an appropriate point to share such distressing information, let your date know how you're going to protect them from being at another's whim and fancy.

3. "My kids are a mess, in jail or a residential treatment facility."

Never smart to lay out all your troubles and concerns early in a relationship. Make sure you've learned how to set boundaries, overcome any co-dependence issue and hold your children accountable for their behavior before you bring someone else into your life. At the same time, you are not your child! Each of us is ultimately responsible for the choices we make.

2. "I don't have a job!"

If you don't have a job, don't date! Relationships are expensive, and you want to be a partner, not a project. Do whatever it takes to find a new job and get your financial house in order before you even think about asking someone out!

1. My ex gave me a STD!

Oh my, just how is your date supposed to respond to that lovely tidbit of information? While living with a STD shouldn't prevent you from dating, telling someone too soon is a great way to sabotage any promising relationship. Let them get to see what a wonderful person you are before you drop this information on them. While wise singles wait until they're married, never, never, never engage in any sexual activity without their full knowledge of your STD. You know what it's like to contract an incurable disease; don't inflict that on another without their informed consent and willingness to risk getting what you have because they loved you enough to marry you.

Once you quit leading off with your worse suit, you'll be amazed at how much more willing your dates will be to get to know you better! Most importantly become the type of person someone else would be wise to marry!

Dr. Sherene McHenry runs a company called Fully Engaged and works with individuals and organizations who want their members to engage in self care, develop healthy relationships and live life to the fullest. To see a short video clip of Sherene speaking go to http://youtube.com/user/mchenryintl. Visit fullyengaged.us to sign up for Sherene's free newsletter.