5 Tips To First Date Success

Over the years I have had many clients frustrated in dating, especially the dreaded first date. I'm always slightly surprised by this as I loved dating when I was single, especially blind dates. I even met my husband on a blind date, his first and last. I loved the possibilities, the adventure and, of course, I have a wicked sense of humor, so any so-called-bad date was always worth a good story.

Dating doesn't have to be an exercise in torture. Ok, sure for some of us, talking to a box of rocks is easy, but for others, a different scenario. For some, the thought of engaging in intimate conversation with a virtual stranger can induce stuttering and immediate brain cramping. I have come to believe in five basic rules for the first date; they have served me and clients very well...

1. Decide what you are looking for before you go out on the date. Are you looking for a boyfriend/husband or a fling? Be honest with yourself. If you really want a boyfriend/husband, decide before you put your big toe out the door what you want in a mate (i.e. humor, kindness, job security, honesty...) Write down 5-10 things that are important to you. This gives you a framework and clarity to make empowered decisions.

2. Be willing to cut bait early. Relax, this is not the last person on earth. There will be other dates if this one does not work out. Don't settle for someone who just isn't right.

3. Believe what he says. If he says he doesn't want a serious relationship, he's not a good at relationships or anything of the like, guess what? He's telling you the truth. Red flags should be signaling you away from this disaster in waiting. Run far away from this person. No second date.

4. Like him as is. Don't think, "Well, if he changed his job, or if this or that was different, I would like him." Again, I go back to, do not settle. There are so many people looking for love -- strive for an abundant life with your most perfect love. You deserve your best life.

5. I call this rule is the two nevers. Never kiss on the first date and never call him after the first date. He calls you. Reality is, we all like a chase. If he doesn't call, well, it just means he didn't call. Don't take it personally. Sometimes the sparks just aren't there or maybe he has an ex that really isn't out of the picture or maybe the timing is off. It doesn't matter. I promise that you do not want to start your relationship feeling like your chasing him. I had a girlfriend that would chase guy after guy away because she had to call him right away. She came off desperate - not attractive. She did not have a lot of second dates.

It is my belief the single most attractive quality a person can have is self-worth. If you believe yourself worthy of a beautiful life, a beautiful love, you will not settle for "less-than." By knowing your worth and having clarity about what you want, you become a more confident person. Confidence is incredibly sexy and not surprisingly, the more confident you become, the more people will be calling you for dates!

Kelly Ballard is an Intuitive Guide and Healer specializing in helping others discover positive solutions for immediate change/growth in their lives through private sessions and guided meditations. Find out more information about her services and meditation CDs at http://www.kellyballard.com. Contact her directly at 720-984-4232 or email kelly@kellyballard.com. She lives in Boulder, CO.