Strategies to Encourage a Person to Fall in Love With You

The kind of "falling in love" that makes for a steady, lasting relationship takes time and depends a great deal more than initial attraction or early interactions. Still, many times a perfectly nice and attractive single person will meet someone they'd like to get to know better, someone that could be "the one," and yet the relationship doesn't bloom. Why?

When a relationship is new, both parties are in a "hover" stance. Each person is in a "deciding" mode. "Am I attracted enough to this person to risk the downside of starting a new relationship? Do we have enough in common? Can I imagine hours and years with this person? Will my friends and family like him or her?" Many times a relationship falls by the wayside during this "hover" period because the people involved are anxious and allow that anxiety to interfere with how they come across.

You have to make it through the hover phase, if a relationship is to take root. Strategies matter. Forget struggling with methods for improving abstract concepts like "self-esteem" or "confidence." To get a relationship past the hover stage you have to "fake it until you make it," because the new person you've met doesn't have the time for you to resolved all your personal issues.

The following set of articles, "Giving Love a Chance to Grow" is designed to help you during that "hover" time, to provide you with strategies to better manage anxiety so that you are attractive to the other. People are predictable in a general sense. Certain behaviors push us away, others keep us tuned in. The idea is to keep your new person attracted long enough for him or her to get to know what a wonderful and interesting person you are.

Strategies include, facial expressions, styles of conversation, dealing with fear of silence, appearance, anxiety about commitment, taking chances, leaving room for the other person to pursue you, personal resiliency, and even what you should and shouldn't reveal about your family in those early "hover" hours. Jump on in. Since there are behaviors that improve your chances, why not use them?

Barbara Rice DeShong, Ph.D.
A Psychologist on the Loose
The Secret of Life
Why Not Be Happy Now?
What if You Had 45 Minutes to Live?
http://www.mysteryshrink.com