Love, meetings and how to address the heart broken

Heart of everyone will be broken in life. This truth has been reduced to me recently, when the long distance relationship, which I attended started to disintegrate in the reality of mutual commitments and shared responsibilities for children with ex partners became obvious. I am an old father of fifty years of two teens beautiful and difficult. I was fortunately unique for these past 3 years. Earlier this year, I decided it was time to open my heart to the possibility of a loving and conscious relationship. In the weeks that I had found my partner or, more exactly, we found the other. We started our long distance dating which involves a five-hour air travel and settle in the rhythms and time zones.

I will not go into details of the painful separation; Suffice it to say that we have managed to remain friends close and supportive. So that growth and learning was I could glean my recent romance and a heart broken as a mature and, I hope, emotionally intelligent man.

Some time after the initial reaction of flight or the struggle for grief, I was lucky enough to be able to step back and observe the process. I became aware, how, in the past, my strategy to avoid the misery of emotional pain was to go on vacation, launch in a rebound relationship, getting drunk, or reach for the control remote. All rather than face of poverty.

It has been my experience that, in pursuit of pleasure, I spent lot of time ranging from what was painful. Instead of this conditioning I had forgotten the transformative power of permanent what was coming up for me on my emotional horizon.

I decided my ground and told myself; "This time I not moved." If my heart is breaking, let out completely. I am meeting the pain as it is, without the history of what I or that it should have been. "What I discovered that broken heart, it was my heart which is just perfect the way it is. I found the peace and happiness with nothing broken, nothing to correct and lots of room to grow and learn.

The process works

o to allow yourself to go straight to the heart, sense of suffering, rejection or jealousy.

o be grateful for the opportunity to feel the wound because it triggered a catalytic process.

o the memories of all who wrong you, humiliated and rejected you are working their way to the surface. You will begin to relive those memories.

o give you innocently feel any desperation which ruled nothing and allow your heart to be broken more deeply than ever before, without any history of what should be or what he said so.

o stay with him no matter what; something incredible is about to occur.

Found a treasure: the pain becomes a catalyst that creates a transformation. The pain is remodeled, renovated, and surprisingly, the pain is translated in the joy and suffering into happiness.

I remember the poet of the 13th century and the paradox of the of the great mystic Rumi:

"I saw a cup of pain of grief and screamed:" it has a sweet taste, it does not?

"You took me," grief replied: "and you have ruined my business." How can I sell sadness when you know that it is a blessing? »

Grief can be a blessing. the cup of sadness can the sweet taste. It is during times of sorrow, struggle and challenge that we grow the most. The strongest steel is to go by more hot oven. When we allow to come light, darkness has no choice but to leave.

Martyn Bray (ACCCT) is the principle Coaching life coach Openpresence.

For more free advice, visit http://openpresence-life-coaching.com/