Showing posts with label Yourself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Yourself. Show all posts

Monday, September 9, 2013

Attempting to Find Love and Friendship Via Facebook Can Tell You Much About Yourself


A true Facebook story:

I've recently read on Facebook the following status: "I've decided to stop with FB. This is my last status. Goodbye friends" .

And guess what! This guy has received tens of responses asking him, pleading with him, begging him not to stop. The end result: this guy not only didn't close his Facebook page, but began sending even more statuses than before, thanking everybody for their concern and encouragement, for their love and attention, and promising hem to have decided to stay with Facebook and with them...

The moral of the story:

Facebook can be a wonderful tool via which to receive attention, love, confirmation and approval. Everything you've always wanted to receive from "real friends" - and more!

Facebook provides us the love and attention we need

We all seek love and attention. This is normal and natural. And getting love, attention and approval on FB is easy and pleasing: your friends "like" your statuses; they respond affirmatively to what you write; they show you love and appreciation; they express concern to your well being (all of which is at times different from the reactions you receive from your spouse, parents or other face-to-face friends...).

All these feel so good! So comforting! There is (usually) no confrontation; no negation. Everybody responds so kindly, driving you to place more statuses and receive even more attention, praise, encouragement. You are "nice" to others by commenting affirmatively on their statuses and by indicating you "like" their statuses. They reciprocate the same. It all feels so connecting, so friendly. You feel you "belong" to a group. You are like "everybody else". You are "trendy".

And at the same time you can be lonely and anonymous - yet have many "friends" who interact with you. With them you can be "intimate". They don't ask you for nothing and don't require a thing. The more statuses you place, the more "like" and positive affirmations you receive.

The virtual world of Facebook

But is it really what you want from a real friend? Wouldn't you prefer to receive honest and true feedback which will help you move forward with whichever issues you struggle with? With whom you will be able to sincerely and authentically talk about your true self, your fears and needs, aspirations and fantasies, commitment and intimacy issues?

Facing yourself via Facebook can tell you much about yourself

An unfamiliar advantage of FB - from which you can benefit considerably - is to use your interactions on FB and your attitudes about these interactions to gaining insights and understanding yourself better.

The best way to doing so is to face yourself with questions such as:

* Which needs drive you to spend time on FB and be so thrilled about your interactions with your FB friends (for example: need for love and attention; need to escape your loneliness; need for affirmation)?
* Which fears enable you to make "friends" on FB easier than real-life ones (for example: fear of rejection; fear of intimacy; fear of commitment; fear of not being appreciated)?
* Which parts of yourself you feel free to reveal on FB which you don't in your daily interactions? Do you present on FB "who you really are" or pretend to be someone you are not?
* And other questions like these.

There is a lot you can learn about yourself as you observe yourself interacting with others on Facebook. Make the best of it - and become empowered to find love and develop successful relationships!




Doron Gil, Ph.D., an expert on Self-Awareness and Relationships, is the author of: "The Self-Awareness Guide to a Successful Intimate Relationship" Available as eBook and paperback: http://www.amazon.com/Self-Awareness-Guide-Successful-Intimate-Relationship/dp/143925141X/

Dr. Gil is a university teacher, workshop leader, counselor and consultant. He has taught classes on Self-Awareness and Relationships to thousands of students, lectured widely on these and related topics at conferences world-wide, and trained physicians, managers, school teachers and parents on how to develop Self-Awareness in order to improve their personal and professional relationships.




Saturday, June 2, 2012

Love Yourself For More Successful Dating


When you like who you are, finding potential dates and enjoying successful dating is easier. Confidence is sexy as hell. If you've seen people who are confident, you already know that. The way you act around people of the opposite sex is a direct result of the confidence you have - or don't have - in yourself. Successful dating is easier when you like yourself, because then you give other people the chance to see the good stuff, too. The thing is, you're never going to please everyone, so what it all boils down to is having a positive view of who you are and liking what you see.

Evaluate How You Feel About Yourself

When you think of yourself, what do you think of? Beyond the things you like and dislike, think about how you perceive yourself. What are the good things about you - including the way you look? Many people who have poor self-image compare themselves to their friends and find that they don't add up. On the other hand, people who think they are hot stuff will rank themselves pretty high up. And even if it's not true, that confidence carries them from one successful dating relationship to the next.

Ask Yourself the Following:

*How do you consider yourself as compared to your friends? Do you think of yourself as a guy or girl magnet? Or do you think that you're the bottom of the barrel?

*How do you dress? This sounds silly, but especially for women, the way they dress shows how they feel about themselves. Do you dress to cover up - so no one can see what you're ashamed of? Or do you dress to show off? Or are you somewhere in the middle - dressing to look nice and flattering, but dressing so you like the way you look.

*How do break-ups from short-term relationships affect you? Everyone gets hurt by break-ups, but if it's only been a few weeks, the reaction is different. Do you think that the person who broke up with you is better off because they'll find someone better or do you think you're better off?

When you have a negative view of who you are, that can seriously affect your chances of successful dating. Because people of the opposite sex pick up on the way you present yourself. And that will affect their opinion of you.

Ways to Improve How You Perceive Yourself. Improving the way you see yourself is hard and it doesn't come naturally to a lot of people. However, there are ways to see the good about yourself. However, it often requires taking a step back.

o Make a list of the things you like about yourself. Include your interests and even specific body parts that you like, for whatever reason.

o Sleep naked. It's a great way to become more comfortable with your body.

o Set aside some "you" time to do what you want to do just because.

o Do things that make you feel good about yourself.

When you love who you are and the way you look, you become more confident. This provides more opportunity for successful dating and it improves your chances of having healthy and successful dating experiences.




Joy O'Toole is a well versed writer in the professional dating scene, compatible matches, and online dating. She has been writing and advising about compatibility, love affairs, soulmates, romance, and finding the perfect match for a long time. She is versed and knowledgeable about the best place to find romance pros, online dating, and professional matchmakers that really work. Her favorite thing about online dating and matchmaking services are the end results, finding true love.




Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Being that he wants while you are - a specific path to love


Are you ready for a long-term relationship? Do you have someone in mind who would love to love? Are you ready for the work of a partnership with someone? If you are ready for a loving, stable relationship, but not quite sure how it happens, read you make next!

After you play the dating game for a while, you can, see that it mostly smoke and mirrors. There is not much depth dating. It is oriented, surface anything much but sometimes you more long. Sometimes, you want a relationship, the stable, loving and comfortable.

To be comfortable, you will learn to have themselves to be men. It is to do a hard thing because if you were to have many guys dating, you probably have the need someone to not be, you really. Women in the dating game caught up and forget that in order for a relationship to stable and supportive, you must be itself really.

Really, the only way is to your true self to create a sustainable relationship with someone. If you are the person to whom you want to be found, then you not choose to play the game. Take walls this game, and let your true that even shine through. He will notice the difference and discover that you not can be while he dwelt, you something, that he only have to have.

It is hard to break out of the role have created yourself, so try to give themselves some time to figure everything out. Let him know that you are ready for something new and different, but not overwhelm him with your desire for long-term durability. He is worried, if you are too zealous.

Explore yourself and your personality in order to really know who you are and what you have to enter. As soon as the man sees the amount of work you are willing, in the relationship with himself, he will automatically recognize that you are worth to invest time and energy in.

It is a hard path, but one that can result in kindness and a great relationship. Know who you are before you try to fall in love with a man in you. When he sees that they are honest and authentic and sincere he will be sure to want with you.




To learn more, click fall in love and learn love mistake that 99% of women without knowing to make.

This article is contributed by Tina Jones from the unforgettable woman publishing team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating relationship for women article. Publishing see more about unforgettable woman by visiting their website.




Success than a few starts with faith to itself if singles dating


What are your priorities, if you are dating? You are looking for love, or are you fixing to superficial beauty. Beauty is only skin deep and faded over the years. If you're making your decisions based on only a person sees, you will come to recognize in time that the things you are overlooked those senses to your love life your partner of character and personality apply.

Why say we not on the outside lock? As you can see, only covers the surface of the person you meet. If you want to find true love, you need deeper and go to far below the surface dig. Love and relationships are about to know, closely is it about someone, to get familiar with the person, the they, their dreams, goals, ambitions, views and beliefs. Focus of surface details ensures that you will have a flat dalliance, to meet your needs in any way, will not.

Provides only for a short time. If you fall you will look for a person, based on fall out of love with them when they lose these sees your appeal and taste of a person are based on looks alone isn't good for your relationship, which promises because your feelings are conditional searches factor alone.

You can see surface details and your partner could do the same. Is what you both will have together, a flat interaction, which is more or less disperse when interest in the other sees you lose. True love and honor based on mutual sympathy, respect, understanding and mature commitment, not flat attractions.

Her success as a couple would be best slim and a very high possibility is that you can quickly fall out of love and looking for a new dalliance soon enough. Love happens on the basis of phenomena is called pseudo-love. That kind of love provides no support whatsoever, thus your relationship give no chance at all in maturity grow. Emotional attachment is done not in a shallow relationship either, so depriving emotional intimacy. If you do, get married to and have children, your children will learn that should be only beautiful people loved and special treats

It takes a really hard work, to a real relationship definitely works, but the effort is worthwhile. The reward for a sincere love engagement are great. Check out an online matchmaking site. A matchmaking service client applications thoroughly screens and you will know soon if you have to do with a date, which is shallow. You are protected in a secure environment and allows to meet and get to know the person who was already checked by the service. This is pretty hard to get in the today's online dating.




All Tane is an experienced author, dating single and dating industry. He has been writing for a while and and has published countless articles. Some of the most popular topics of Allen's on write individual professionals about 30, older include singles, relationships and dating agencyprofessional. Allen's articles are well-written and memorable. They are especially ideal for those who start out and still keep up with their daily activities.




Questions You Ask Yourself Help You Develop Self-Awareness and Succeed With Your Relationships


The American philosopher John Dewey stated: "A question well-phrased provides half the answer" .

As you embark on the Self-Awareness process and begin to observe yourself, asking and answering questions will help you focus and pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, attitude, reactions and behaviors and enable you to understand how they drive you to sabotage your relationships. It is quite likely that you haven't asked yourself these questions before.

To help you with the process, I list here sample-questions you can begin asking yourself. Add as many others as you go along. The more honest you are in answering them, the more insights you will gain and the ways in which you harm your relationships.

1. Questions about yourself

* How do I usually behave when having a relationship:

- Am I authentic?

- Am I open and honest with my partner(s), or closed and cautious, afraid of being hurt?

- Am I true to myself and behave in ways that feel right to me? Or do I tend to sacrifice myself "for the sake of the relationship"?

* Do I tend to get into relationships due to the fear of being alone? If so, does it drive me to enter a relationship with whoever asks me out?

* Do I feel there is something I would like to change about myself, but are afraid to, or don't know how? If so, what is this "something"?

* When problems and conflicts arise in my relationships, how do I cope with them:

- Am I aggressive, feeling that I am always "right"?

- Am I submissive?

- Am I too compromising?

* What, in my opinion, drives me to behave the way I do?

* Do I see myself as a person who "gives space" to my partner? If so, do I know whether it comes out of appreciation of his/her own space, out of an attitude regarding life and relationships, or out of my fear of commitment? (Each one of these might influence differently the ways in which you behave with your partner or with being single).

* Do I perceive myself as a person that never says NO? If so, is it because I am "accommodating", or because my need for love drives me to avoid being rejected in all costs? Or -

* Do I perceive myself as a person who always negate what my partner wants and says? If so, what drives me to doing so?

* Do I see myself as a person who has "much love" to offer and therefore desire (and demands!) much closeness? Or could it be that my behavior is driven by dependency and neediness?

* Do I see myself as a person who "loves so much" and therefore tend to do everything for my partner? Or could it be that my behavior is driven by the fear of being rejected and abandoned?

* Could it be that "loving so much" actually originates from me being a controlling person who need to decide about and be involved with everything related to my partner?

* Do I see myself as a person who perceive my way of "doing things" as always the right way?

* And other questions related to your own issues that you can you come up with.

As you see, there could be different reasons for the way you behave. When you become aware of your behaviors and identify where they originate from you can better understand how you sabotage your relationships.

2. Questions about your relationship failures

* Do you think that the way you handle yourself in relationships is fine, and not having a satisfying relationship until now results from not having met "the right person" yet?

* Is it possible that you have been hurt in past relationships and are now so cautious that you hinder your own attempts at developing a new bond?

* Would you be willing to consider the possibility that something in you - your thoughts, attitudes, feelings, reactions and behaviors - drive you to fail time and again (due to fears, needs, unfinished businesses and other factors that control you)?

* And other questions like these related to your own issues and relationship history.

3. Questions related to your thoughts, feelings, attitude, reactions and behaviors

* How do you usually feel about what your partner says or does (for example: always agree, always disagree, and so on)?

* Which thoughts usually go through your mind while you interact with your partner (such as: "Am I smart enough?"; "Do I make myself clear?"; "Does my partner appreciate me?" and so on).

* Can you tell what your reactions and behaviors say about what kind of a person you are (for example: aggressive; submissive; a victim; shy; introvert; extrovert; honest; stingy; secure; independent; dependent; cautious; open; and so on)?

* What is your attitude when approaching dating, relationships and the other sex (for example: positive; negative; suspicion; mistrust; hope; and so on)?

* Are you often satisfied with the ways in which you handle yourself with dates and relationships? If yes, how do you explain your failures?

* If you are not satisfied with the ways in which you handle yourself with dates and relationships:

- How do you explain that?

- How would you like to handle yourself?

- What do you think stands in your way from adapting these ways?

4. Questions about factors that control you

If you have answered the previous 3 sets of questions you may be ready for this fourth set. It calls for a higher level of Self-Awareness, and deals with uttermost important issues which cause you too sabotage your relationships.

* Can you identify any fears which drive your thoughts, feelings, attitude, reactions and behaviors (such as: the fear of being alone; the fear of commitment; the fear of being hurt; the fear of abandonment)? Which of these fears discouraged you from having a relationship, or controlled you when having one? Have any of these driven you to jump from one relationship to another?

* Can you identify any needs which exert power over your thoughts, feelings, attitudes, reactions and behaviors (such as: the need for independence, the need to receive constant love and approval, the need for control)?

* Can you identify any expectations and fantasies you hold on to about partners and relationships? Thinking these over, do you think they are realistic? Have they ever harmed your relationships when not being fulfilled, by causing frictions, arguments, disappointments?

* Can you identify the attitude you usually have about partners and relationships (and towards the other sex in general)? Can you realize how it is being expressed in your reactions and behaviors?

* Can you identify which thoughts, feelings, attitude, reactions and behaviors repeat themselves throughout all your interactions?

* Can you identify any other issues which are unique to you which affect your thoughts, feelings, attitude, reactions and behaviors and hurt you constantly?

Asking questions: Summary

Questions well-phrased enable you to observe yourself carefully and come up with answers which will give you insights into the ways in which you sabotage your relationships. By doing so you develop your Self-Awareness and become able to:

* See, understand and acknowledge your automatic patterns of thinking, feeling, reacting and behaving;

* See, understand and acknowledge the factors you haven't been aware of until now which control you and drive you to hang-on to these automatic patterns (such as fears and needs, unrealistic expectations and fantasies, messages you internalized);

* Realize the ways in which you have harmed your relationships.

* De-activate the power these factors have exerted over you;

* Become able to consciously choose to think, feel, react and behave otherwise; and

* Become empowered to develop and maintain a successful intimate relationship.

The questions listed above are intended to give you a "head start" as you begin to develop your Self-Awareness. The more you'll come up with questions related to your own relationships' issues and experiences, the more helpful insights you will gain about the ways in which you have harmed your relationships until now.




Doron Gil, Ph.D., is an expert on Self-Awareness and Relationships with a 30 year experience as a university teacher, workshop leader, counsellor and consultant. He is the author of more than 100 articles on the subject and of: "The Self-Awareness Guide to a Successful Intimate Relationship". Available as eBook and paperback: http://www.amazon.com/Self-Awareness-Guide-Successful-Intimate-Relationship/dp/143925141X/

More on Dr. Gil, his book and articles: http://self-awareness-and-relationships.blogspot.com




Friday, April 20, 2012

Are You Ready to Get Your Ex Back? Test Yourself! Trust in Relationships


There are 3 questions you need to know the answer to in order to win anyone back so pay attention. You could be making huge mistakes right now, but if you get these 3 questions answered correctly you can gain trust in relationships and attract anyone.

1. When I want to win back my ex? a) Keep as close to the object of my desire as I possibly can b) Stay away and keep a long distance between us c) Keep close, but not that close The correct answer here is C. If you keep too close, then it will feel like you are smothering that person. Everyone needs room to breathe, so don't cling too much. Trust in relationships are difficult, and even more so if you stay away from whomever you want to attract or get back. If you are far away, who know what you might be doing right? That is exactly what your object of desire is thinking. Why are you so far away? So distant? So keep close, but give room to breathe and to grow.

2. When trying to attract someone patience is? a) A bad thing, because if you only wait around, nothing happens b) A good thing, it builds up trust in relationships c) A thing I don't have to worry about because it's not important Did you peek? The correct answer here is B. If you chose A, I'm sure you had your reasons. It's true that you don't want to wait around for things to happen automatically, but that's not what being patient mean. C is certainly wrong, because patience is incredibly important for a number of reasons. One reason is that everyone values patience. Think about it for second. When you are in the post office and there is a long queue behind you, you rely on them being patient while you are doing what you came there for. What if everyone started yelling at you for taking more than a minute? Same applies in relationships. If you can show patience, the person you try to attract will think you are much more attractive and interesting. Patience is attractive!

3. Why would you want to be independent? a) To show that I can take care of myself b) To play hard to get c) To become interesting to the person I try to attract The right answers here is A simply because you have to be able to be your own person, function with or without your chosen target. This is important. I know that your goal is to get someone interested in you and it sounds great that you can't live without that person, but this is real life, real situations. You will want to show who you are, because you exist with or without someone by your side, show your identity!

Playing hard to get can work sometimes, but that's not why you want to be independent. There is nothing more interesting in an independent person than someone being dependent or something or someone. Just be yourself, show your individuality, because you want the person you are trying to attract or get back want you for who you are, because if not, what's the point? So did you score well on this quiz? Please tell me you did, or you have no chance at attracting anyone. Ok, I am just kidding, this is a learning process like life itself. Not everyone is an expert on day one. Give it a little time and you can get back your ex or whoever you want in life. Trust me, it's not so difficult once you know how.




http://thelovegeek.com is about love and how to find and keep it. The Love Geek is a resource started by author Jorn Tillnes. Relationships are not easy, but you may want to go to Find True Love to get some answers.




To Get Love, Love Yourself First


Self-confidence is attractive. Self-doubt is repelling. No one wants to feel trapped in a downward well, which is what happens when we dump our worries into a relationship. Our special other may see our revelations, at first, as courage, as our being honest and trusting them with our inner-most selves. As time goes on, however, our special other will tire and begin to withdraw.

To start with, not being able to help someone we love is very defeating for the helper. No other person, no matter how much they love us, can ever convince us of our own lovability. In this culture we expect a lot of relationships; we even expect that if someone really loves us, that love will somehow break through our habitual ways of thinking about ourselves. We expect love to chase away our insecurities, which, in the beginning, love does in a way. The euphoria of infatuation propels us past many of our usual roadblocks. The problem comes in when infatuation fades and self-doubts re-emerge.

Making matters worse, with our overstated belief in what love can do, when we no longer feel that special sort of "invincible" we felt at first in a relationship, we often blame the other for our changed sense of self. We say, "If you loved me I wouldn't feel this way," or "If you told me more often how much you love me, I wouldn't doubt myself." Sometimes we even set up comparisons to put ourselves down and frustrate our special persons, saying things such as, "You treat you friends better than you do me," or "You don't love me the way you love your family."

These are ways we point out, again, to our special person-that we are not confident in ourselves and we are not taking responsibility for getting confident. Try saying this once in a while: "Sometimes I think about how much I love you and I realize that your love for me is strong. And (wink), that makes sense. I have my downside, but I'm a great package!"




Barbara Rice DeShong, Ph.D.
A Psychologist on the Loose
MysteryShrink is my way of paying forward using my clinical experience and writing with humor. Come join the fun and change you life.
http://www.mysteryshrink.com




Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Do you love you?


The feeling always uncertainty about your relationship? Doubt you love so much as far as even suspect your partner feel to you? Good, although it could not just always your fault, but nevertheless I have to say, this is the beginning of a very unhealthy relationship. In the long term it could even lead to an end of the relationship.

Should you have such thoughts, because you really maintain this relationship, I believe? But well, maybe appreciation it is just a bit too much? Think about it, how would you feel, if the things the other way around? Would you like it if your partner were to doubt your love for them instead? Call always on you, are to find out where you hold up whom, what are you doing? Believe me, no one so. It is only negative and more negative feedbacks I got from friends who have such encounters.

Some who just can't stand it, initiated a break from.

Keep in mind that confidence between the partners is one of the most important criteria to a happy and fulfilled relationship. Without them, a more stable relationship would be never possible.

But first of all, before we this mutual trust, which is a very important thing that you need to reach can be built up and thats himself to trust! If you are not self confidence, as you can expect others, your love, you trust? To have confidence in the relationship?

You need to believe in themselves, believe that it is this something very special in themselves. Those who make good friends and family, liked the course your love, this very special and unique a very special you love.

Each is unique in its own way. This can only be not more else in this world. Their friends and family, just like you, who you are. Their love, loves you, who you are. So, if you like any real, how can you even than who you are, not how you? Doubts about your own self? I don't think that you, your friends and that special someone whom you really love want to lose?

Now look in the mirror and tell yourself, you're great! "I love you!" Yes, if you love yourself, you have this feeling of confidence out naturally, very broadcast in you bring. If you are satisfied, others will feel naturally happy with you be.

Keep in mind, love is always a bi-directional communication. It takes two, a happy, you and him or her happy, to complete the equation.

© 2005 http://www.loveletterbox.com




Rick Valens
Writer for http://www.loveletterbox.com,
Love relationship discussion forum

Currently a freelance writer for http://www.ecemetery.org,
Monument to the eternal memory

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Loving Yourself - Cultivating and Developing a Loving, Nurturing Relationship With Ourselves


We have all heard the idea of loving ourselves first in order to love and be loved by another. Yet how many of us are truly engaged in the practice of being loving and kind to ourselves? Being completely loving and kind to ourselves no matter what, being committed to tend to and to express our own needs and desires and show up for ourselves is the foundation required to draw in love and relationship.

Here's what so many of us do:

We beat ourselves up constantly
We tell ourselves the worst stories
We tell ourselves what we should have done differently, how someone else would have done it better, how there must be something wrong with us, how if only we were prettier, fitter, more lovable, a good person or were different to who we are in some way, all would be well
We criticize ourselves
We compare ourselves to others
We put all of our focus on our flaws and imperfections
We put huge pressure and expectation on ourselves to be perfect
We don't take time to celebrate our accomplishments
We constantly make ourselves wrong

When we are looking to draw in love and relationship into our lives, we are called to start seeing clearly the way in which we are treating ourselves.

I clearly remember when I first started to see that everything I thought men were doing to me, for example: abandoning me, rejecting me, not valuing me, not seeing me etc, I was in fact doing to myself. It was being reflected back to me by men all around me. In my commitment and intention for love, I had to take a radical new stand for myself, that I would absolutely show up for myself, knew that if I wanted to create the type of relationship and connection that I was yearning for, I would need to become deeply connection to myself. Enough was enough - I was no longer willing to negate or dismiss my own feelings or needs. I started to become deeply interested and curious about all of the ways in which I was currently doing this. I became deeply engaged in loving myself, giving to myself, seeing myself, listening to my own needs and desires. I started to make new choices and take new actions that were in alignment with what I was seeing and my commitment to transforming my experience of love. I was taking a radical stand for myself.

When we change the relationship we have with ourselves, our whole external world changes accordingly.

This is truly miraculous. I remember when I first discovered this truth. Having been deeply in the process of giving to and nurturing myself, I began to put myself into the dating world again, only now I was different. I had a real sense of my own value and what I wanted to create in a relationship. I was able to express my needs and desires, what I needed in relationship and what I had to bring to a relationship. I became wholly visible. I noticed that I was attracting a very different kind of man: men who really saw me, who like me, were genuinely interested in having a relationship with me. I attracted men who were "lit up" by me, who couldn't wait to get to know me. My whole experience of love and relationship was transformed and it wasn't too long before I met the love of my life and the man with whom I would spend my life.

How can we start to change our relationship with ourselves?

It begins with awareness - start to notice all of the ways in which you dismiss your own needs
Without blaming or shaming yourself, ask yourself: "In what ways to I beat myself up and criticize myself?"
Take a radical new stand for yourself, your happiness and well being by showing up for yourself no matter what
Start telling yourself how beautiful and valuable you are
Become available and committed to yourself
Take the time to celebrate your achievements
Spend time doing things you love and enjoy
Have play time
Learn to say "no"
Set new boundaries and limits where appropriate
Start to catch yourself when you judge or criticize yourself, take a step back and ask "What would love do in this situation?"




And now I would like to invite you to receive Free Instant Access to the Inspiring and Love-Transforming "Magnetizing Love" Gift Pack and receive a Free "Release Your Obstacles to Love and Become Irresistibly Magnetic to Your Soul Mate" Coaching Session with Julie-Anne Shapiro, UK's Love Facilitator at http://MagnetizingLove.com/




Friday, October 7, 2011

Do You Love Yourself?


Always feeling insecurity over your love relationship? So much so to the extent of even feeling suspicious, doubting your partner's love for you? Well though it might not exactly always be your fault but still I must say, this is the beginning of a very unhealthy relationship. In the long run, it might even lead to an end of the relationship.

I should believe that you are having such thoughts because you really cherish this relationship? But well, perhaps cherishing it just a bit too much? Think about it, how would you feel if things were the other way round? Would you like it if your partner were to doubt your love for them instead? Always calling on you to find out where you are, whom you are with, what you are doing? Believe me, nobody like that. It is only negative and more negative feedbacks that I have got from friends that are having such encounters.

Some, who simply cannot stand it, initiated a break off.

Remember, trust between partners is one of the key criteria to a happy and fulfilling relationship. Without it, an ever-lasting relationship would never be possible.

But first of all, before we can built up this mutual trust, that is one very important thing you must achieve and that is, to trust yourself! If you don't even trust yourself, how can you expect others, your very love to trust you? To have faith in the relationship?

You must believe in yourself, believing that there is this very special you within yourself. A very special you that make you well liked by friends and family, which of course also include your very love, loving this very special and unique you.

Everybody is unique in his or her very own way. That can only be one you and no more else in this world. Your friends and family like you for who you are. Your love, loves you for who you are. So when everyone genuine likes you, how can you yourself, don't like yourself as who you are? Doubting your very own self? I don't suppose you wanna lose your friends and that special someone whom you truly love?

Look into the mirror today and tell yourself, "You are great! I love you!" Yes, when you love yourself, you will naturally have this feel of confidence bringing out that very radiance in you. When you yourself are happy, others will naturally feel happy when being with you.

Remember, love is always a two-way communication. It takes two, a happy you and a happy him or her to complete the equation.

©2005 http://www.loveletterbox.com




Rick Valens
Staff Writer for http://www.loveletterbox.com,
Love Relationship Discussion Forum

Currently also freelance writer for http://www.ecemetery.org,
Monument of Eternal Memory

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Are You Ready to Get Your Ex Back? Test Yourself! Trust in Relationships


There are 3 questions you need to know the answer to in order to win anyone back so pay attention. You could be making huge mistakes right now, but if you get these 3 questions answered correctly you can gain trust in relationships and attract anyone.

1. When I want to win back my ex? a) Keep as close to the object of my desire as I possibly can b) Stay away and keep a long distance between us c) Keep close, but not that close The correct answer here is C. If you keep too close, then it will feel like you are smothering that person. Everyone needs room to breathe, so don't cling too much. Trust in relationships are difficult, and even more so if you stay away from whomever you want to attract or get back. If you are far away, who know what you might be doing right? That is exactly what your object of desire is thinking. Why are you so far away? So distant? So keep close, but give room to breathe and to grow.

2. When trying to attract someone patience is? a) A bad thing, because if you only wait around, nothing happens b) A good thing, it builds up trust in relationships c) A thing I don't have to worry about because it's not important Did you peek? The correct answer here is B. If you chose A, I'm sure you had your reasons. It's true that you don't want to wait around for things to happen automatically, but that's not what being patient mean. C is certainly wrong, because patience is incredibly important for a number of reasons. One reason is that everyone values patience. Think about it for second. When you are in the post office and there is a long queue behind you, you rely on them being patient while you are doing what you came there for. What if everyone started yelling at you for taking more than a minute? Same applies in relationships. If you can show patience, the person you try to attract will think you are much more attractive and interesting. Patience is attractive!

3. Why would you want to be independent? a) To show that I can take care of myself b) To play hard to get c) To become interesting to the person I try to attract The right answers here is A simply because you have to be able to be your own person, function with or without your chosen target. This is important. I know that your goal is to get someone interested in you and it sounds great that you can't live without that person, but this is real life, real situations. You will want to show who you are, because you exist with or without someone by your side, show your identity!

Playing hard to get can work sometimes, but that's not why you want to be independent. There is nothing more interesting in an independent person than someone being dependent or something or someone. Just be yourself, show your individuality, because you want the person you are trying to attract or get back want you for who you are, because if not, what's the point? So did you score well on this quiz? Please tell me you did, or you have no chance at attracting anyone. Ok, I am just kidding, this is a learning process like life itself. Not everyone is an expert on day one. Give it a little time and you can get back your ex or whoever you want in life. Trust me, it's not so difficult once you know how.




http://thelovegeek.com is about love and how to find and keep it. The Love Geek is a resource started by author Jorn Tillnes. Relationships are not easy, but you may want to go to Find True Love to get some answers.




To Get Love, Love Yourself First


Self-confidence is attractive. Self-doubt is repelling. No one wants to feel trapped in a downward well, which is what happens when we dump our worries into a relationship. Our special other may see our revelations, at first, as courage, as our being honest and trusting them with our inner-most selves. As time goes on, however, our special other will tire and begin to withdraw.

To start with, not being able to help someone we love is very defeating for the helper. No other person, no matter how much they love us, can ever convince us of our own lovability. In this culture we expect a lot of relationships; we even expect that if someone really loves us, that love will somehow break through our habitual ways of thinking about ourselves. We expect love to chase away our insecurities, which, in the beginning, love does in a way. The euphoria of infatuation propels us past many of our usual roadblocks. The problem comes in when infatuation fades and self-doubts re-emerge.

Making matters worse, with our overstated belief in what love can do, when we no longer feel that special sort of "invincible" we felt at first in a relationship, we often blame the other for our changed sense of self. We say, "If you loved me I wouldn't feel this way," or "If you told me more often how much you love me, I wouldn't doubt myself." Sometimes we even set up comparisons to put ourselves down and frustrate our special persons, saying things such as, "You treat you friends better than you do me," or "You don't love me the way you love your family."

These are ways we point out, again, to our special person-that we are not confident in ourselves and we are not taking responsibility for getting confident. Try saying this once in a while: "Sometimes I think about how much I love you and I realize that your love for me is strong. And (wink), that makes sense. I have my downside, but I'm a great package!"




Barbara Rice DeShong, Ph.D.
A Psychologist on the Loose
MysteryShrink is my way of paying forward using my clinical experience and writing with humor. Come join the fun and change you life.
http://www.mysteryshrink.com