People often wonder and ask when the right time to enter into a dating relationship is. Are you one of them or are you already in a relationship?

Is there a particular age at which you are regarded qualified to date? Are there things to consider before asking that girl of your dreams out or is this the right time to say yes to that hunk you so much adore?

In order to answer these questions, I would like to make an analogy with obtaining a driver's licence. My question would be, when is it right to start taking driving lessons? There is a time and season for everything on earth. Everything has a purpose and when the purpose of a thing is unknown abuse is inevitable.Driving tests: oral, theory, hazard perception and practical are put in place to prepare the individual for safe driving. A license is issued after passing the tests to certify that the holder has obtained the necessary standard to drive safely on the highway. This is put in place to prevent / reduce accidents and death on our roads.

To prepare for these tests, the prospective driver enrols in a driving school and takes lessons until he / she is confident and ready to take the tests. Until these tests are passed, you do not obtain a full driver's license. Some may take lessons from parents, friends or relatives while others uses software packages to gain the required knowledge and skills. whatever the case may be, lessons are being learnt and skills are acquired.

In like manner, you should date when you are seriously considering obtaining a marriage license. In order words you date when considering entering into a serious relationship which you hope would lead to the altar. Just like being behind the wheels of a car, you are in the driving seat of the other party's emotions, life and future when in a relationship. The way the affairs of any dating relationship are carried out impacts on both parties.

Many are left scarred as a result of an abusive relationships which goes on to affect future relationships and in some cases their marriage. Though some people deliberately and consciously decide to be become single parents, others get pregnant as a result of their naivety and sincere foolishness. Many people's lives, dreams and aspirations are ruined just because they were in a relationship they were not mature or wise enough to handle.

There may not be a particular age that categorically specifies when it is right to date, the criteria below should be met. When the leaves starts to fall you know that autumn is at hand.

Above the legal age

The law of the land states the age when one is considered to be an adult.

Have parental consent

You need the consent of your parents if you are under their roof. You may be an adult but their support, advice and counsel would help along the way, that's if they know any better.

Be mature

You should be physically and emotionally mature to handle a relationship. Though age may be a factor in determining maturity, it doesn't always apply. Do you have the necessary relational skills to go into a relationship? How much of the temperaments and characteristics of the opposite sex do you know? Do you have the right motives for entering into the relationship, or is it for selfish reasons? Is this relationship a rebound or emotional resting place while you recover from a heart break? Are you in the relationship because of peer pressures or is a hit and run scenario?

Ready to take responsibility

You should be ready to commit to a serious relationship that would eventually lead to marriage. It is not always possible to know for sure that your date is the right one, but there must be a strong indication that he or she is a potential spouse.

Dating without the intention to having a serious relationship is cheap recipe for emotional heart break and disaster. If you do not have the intention of getting married within a considerable time frame, why should you keep a person waiting for 5, 6, 7, 10 years? In such situations breaking up after such a long time would be emotionally disaster especially for the woman whose biologically clock may be past midnight.

Every relationship should be clearly defined and understood by the parties involved. No one should be left in the dark to build castles in the sky. If you do not intend to commit to a relationship for genuine reasons e.g. studies, career etc it would be wise and mature to make it very clear so you do not lead anyone on.

It may sound unusual, but I think couples intending to get married should be asked to attend marriage counselling classes to help prepare them for marriage life. The statistics and rate of divorces even amongst Christians is ever increasing. Love should be the motivation for a true relationship but there are other skills and knowledge to acquire that would help along the way. Marriage it till death, unlike a driver's license that can be revoked divorce is an exception and not the rule

Every decision we take has a consequence, if you make the wrong decision you would reap the harvest. Don't be a fool dating or date a fool. Get the wisdom and understanding to keep you life and future on track.

Pele Odiase is a web designer, programmer and robotics expert. He loves photography and plays the keyboard for his local church. His experience of the lifestyle and morals practiced in the UK motivated him to start his web log.

He is the webmaster of Ask Dr. P - a website dedicated to sharing candid and virtuous view that would enable individuals and families maximise their potentials in relationships and finances.

Visit: http://www.peleodiase.com for life changing articles Download free ebooks here [http://www.peleodiase.com/blog/members-area]

The boundary-challenged therapist in the HBO series, In Treatment, is now a single man. Last season, the soulfully conflicted therapist played by Gabriel Byrne had tormented himself and his mid-life wife over his feelings for a younger patient who came onto him like a 20-something Lolita. Their unconsummated yet life-changing relationship was the catalyst for his divorce and his move to Brooklyn to start fresh. Is he ready for a dating relationship? Would you be willing to date him so soon after divorce?

Friends and therapists often advise us to wait to date someone until they have been divorced a year. Why?

The pain of a break up and rebirth opens the door for enormous personal growth, unless you are distracted by passionate pleasures or rebound relationships that seem to ease your angst. The therapist played by Gabriel Byrne is choosing the path of personal growth, at least in the opening episodes of this season. He is working with his own therapist to uncover the love lessons of his marital breakdown and the malpractice lawsuit filed against him by the family of another one of his patients who was a possible suicide victim.

Now imagine that you met this divorced, displaced, vulnerable and soulful therapist for a lunch date or a drink after work. You instantly may be attracted to his physical charm and feel excited to learn more about him. You might ask how he's doing on his own after two decades of marriage.

If he told you about his weekend trips by train to see his children, you would realize he may not have the freedom to date for a while. What if you asked the single most important question about his divorce: Does he accept responsibility for his role in the break up of his marriage and family life?

He might close up and be vague, to spare you his painful story. If he felt comfortable or interested in you, he might speak from his heart and share his insights and angst over his divorce.

You might be riveted by his soulful revelations and irresistibly attracted to his physical charms. But is he ready to date?

This is a good time to ask yourself if you want to go through the healing and rebuilding process that can continue for years after a long marriage ends.

How would this dating relationship support your well being?

Do you want to be needed by someone in a vulnerable state?

Do you need to receive versus give the emotional support in a relationship?

Are you seeking a more light-hearted, emotionally energizing dating relationship?

These are some of the issues that make dating after divorce so difficult.

If there is click of mutual interest and attraction, you may decide to grow through tough times together from the very start of your dating relationship. If your eyes are open to the personal challenges and growth that lie ahead, this could be the start of a lovely relationship.

And if you'd like to see how author Hadley Finch and her savvy friends bring out the best in each other and create healthy relationships, you may follow their romantic adventures in the novel, TRIBE OF BLONDES.

Not a hair color, it's a resilient hopeful spirit that unites us and fuels our passionate choices and personal triumphs.

The novel is inspired by Hadley's dating adventures on three continents after her long marriage ended in divorce. It reveals secrets to help you survive a break up, start a new life and love again in the spirit of the TRIBE OF BLONDES. The novel is available in your favorite book store or on amazon.

You may follow host, Hadley Finch, in weekly episodes of A COURSE IN DATING MIRACLES and TRIBE OF BLONDES POW WOW SHOW--Your guide to healthy relationships and lasting love, when you visit http://www.tribeofblondes.com