I thought it was going to be just another Easter evening alone on March 31, 2013. When there's nothing too exciting going on in my life I always turn to online social media. This time I chose Facebook to keep me company. I was very happy I did. The results were astonishing.
Not very often, but sometimes, I would look up an old flame online. This time my thoughts were on my first love. Her name is Susan. We spent five years of our teen years through the first two years of my 20s. We met when Susan was 15 and I was 17. Five years is a very long time together during those impressionable, adolescent years. She was in ninth grade in junior high and I was a junior in high school.
Through the years we had lots of innocent fun but it was like a game of cat and mouse when it came to Susan's parents and the two of us. They did not approve of my age and my appearance. I had long hair. And one year and nine months made such a difference in our age according to her parents. We both had to sneak around to see each other. I cut my hair but that didn't help.
Me and Susan were very mature and responsible for our age. We waited to have sex for three years. By then she was on birth control pills and she was eighteen. If only her parents knew how responsible we were, but that wasn't the case. We heard of a couple friends of Susan's that became pregnant and we did not want that type of responsibility too soon. I was unable to win over Susan's father but I did with her mother as time passed. We were just kids having fun. We went to concerts, movies, and just hung out in parks and drove to the mountain and the ocean. We occasionally went to parties, drank beer and smoked weed. We meant no harm.
I finally found a decent job after dating Susan for three years. It was a civil service job working for the U.S. Department of Defense at the Puget Sound Naval Shipyard in Bremerton, about 28 miles from our hometown in Tacoma. I moved out of my parent's home and moved closer to work. I was on my own for the first time. We now had to alternate weekends to see each other. I would drive to Tacoma and spend the weekend with my parents to see Susan. And Susan would spend the weekend with me the next weekend at my apartment when her dad was away working for two weeks on and two weeks off. He made a living in the tugboat industry as a captain of a crew. Susan's mother was much more liberal than her father. She would allow Susan to visit me for the weekend. It never got back to her father.
In 1973 Susan graduated from high school and later that year she attended a vocational school where she studied daycare. It was 1974 when me and Susan were engaged to get married. I was working at my job for only one year and Susan had graduated from vocational school and began her job in a daycare pre-school. We set a wedding date for May 24, 1975. We were just as happy as the day we met and now we were looking forward to spending our lives together and start a family.
In the summer of 1974 I developed a habit of drinking alcohol too much and too often. It began to effect my attendance at work. By the time Susan recognized my problem I was pretty much an alcoholic. It began to spiral out of control. I was in denial when Susan approached me about it. But I kept drinking excessively. We were involved in a car accident that could have easily taken our lives and maybe others. Afterwards I kept promising to Susan that I would quit but I never did. She believed I could quit drinking but deep inside I knew I wouldn't. I never believed I was an alcoholic.
The following year our wedding day was approaching in less than a week and I was extremely nervous. I was beginning to feel frightened at the thought of being married. My anxiety was flying high. I think Susan was, too. But she was frightened at the thought of beginning a marriage with my problems that seemed to compound.
We had grown apart after being together for five years. We had grown up from being kids to adulthood and all the responsibilities that came with it. We were both unhappy.
Five days before our wedding was to take place I went on a drinking binge. And that did it for me. Susan told me we were finished. The wedding was called off.
My life became a living hell after Susan left. I couldn't imagine this was happening. I kept drinking and partying and getting into trouble with the law. About two months later my oldest brother, Donald, committed suicide. He was extremely depressed from a broken marriage and alcoholism. He was only 36. I happen to find him as I was making my weekend rounds. This profoundly changed my life for the worst. Two years later I resigned from my job before I was fired. I began to pile up DUI after DUI. The courts made me go into rehab for a three week intensive inpatient program. Afterwards I quit drinking for three weeks and then I continued on a roller coaster of heavy drinking, and drunken driving arrests, and jail sentences, losing my driving privilege for five years, a couple suicide attempts, a volunteer commitment to a mental ward, more car accidents, and numerous relationship breakups. Life was pure hell for many, many years.
In 2003, I was fifty years old. I had lost my wife to cancer in 2001. I had been a mess for almost 30 years. There was no doubt I was a raving alcoholic in its final stages. If I didn't stop drinking it was going to kill me for sure. I was determined to quit drinking at last. And now it has worked for over eleven years. I have not had a drink in that long and I finally made myself proud of being a grateful alcoholic.
Two years into my recovery, my other older brother, Mark, died of cirrhosis of the liver from a lifetime of drinking. He was 55. That could have been me. The death of my two brothers made me even stronger. I was maintaining my sobriety one day at a time and it was working. I had a new lease on life. I began to write a book one year after my brother, Mark, died in 2005. It took me four years to complete. One year I never wrote anything. The memories were too painful to relive. Reading about myself and my endless problems eventually gave me writer's block. And I was blocking out my life. I didn't want to read my own book. I finally published it in 2010. It was finished and I was happy it was. It was very good therapy for me to go through the pain and make amends to people I hurt.
I had written a big part of my book about my long relationship with Susan and how lost I felt to lose her. Susan's name in the book was fictionalized. I named her Rene. My main subject in my book was my battle with alcoholism, drugs, depression, suicide and grief.
On Easter evening, March 31, 2013, I was thinking about Susan and how I could get a hold of her. I have tried so many times to no avail. I attempted to contact her through Facebook, a popular online social media site. In the past I had tried Classmates and I also tried Google many times. I became ecstatic when her name and picture came up on my computer screen. So I put in a friend request to see if she would respond.
Two days passed by and no response. I knew it would be a very slim chance that she would respond and invite me onto her site, let alone her life. A couple days passed and I checked my e-mail and Facebook reminded me that I had a response. I opened it and it was from Susan indicating that she accepted my friendship request. I felt elated and 38 years lighter. This was the best news I heard in so many years. I didn't know how to respond. I didn't have a plan of action and no easy words of response came to mind. I finally gained my composure. I had no idea where this was going and there was no turning back except 38 years of catching up. I asked myself where I would start. Then I thought where would she start. It wasn't easy. If we should meet again how would we plan such a reunion, I asked myself. We were much older now. I was 60 and Susan was 58. We weren't exactly kids anymore--that's for sure.
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The first response was up to me since I made the inquiry on Facebook. I e-mailed Susan first. I was so surprised that it wasn't that difficult to chat with her though it was an electronic conversation. She was easy to chat with and my words seem to flow flawlessly without any noticeable anxiety. Our message chats became very long and full of surprises.
I knew Susan married in 1978. I saved the engagement notice as I saved ours, too, back in 1975. She had a happy marriage lasting 23 years. She divorced in 2000. She had two children from her only marriage-a son and a daughter. They are both adults now. She lost her middle sister from breast cancer. Her mother passed away a few years later. Her dad was still living in his 90s in the same house they ever knew. And Susan was living just a couple miles from where we spent our final days together in the Purdy-Wauna area of Gig Harbor, Washington. I moved from that area to Tacoma about one year after we broke up. There were so many coincidences in our lives. But the most unusual fact was that we only bumped into each other only once in 1978 for one not-so-shining moment. We were cordial only for a couple minutes and we were gone. After that our lives were wiped clean as an eraser.
Almost three weeks passed by before a physical meeting would take place. We came up with an idea that we would meet on the first day the temperature outside would reach 70 degrees because we met in 1970. It seemed it took a long time before that would happen.We became tired of the wait and April 17 was approaching, the date we met in 1970. We were playing a cute little game. Then we gave in and scheduled a meet on April 17, 2013.
We thought it appropriate to meet on our anniversary that we originally met. Ironically, the weather was sunny and 70 degrees for the first time of the year. If I recall it may have been one or two degrees shy of 70. It was like all the stars were lined up for our reunion. It was unbelievable.
We met at Shenanigan's Restaurant on the waterfront in Tacoma, Washington. I was very nervous but settled down in time. Susan appeared a little anxious but not at all like me. Our meeting wasn't as difficult as I anticipated. This was the first time we actually spoke to each other in 38 years. We did talk on our cell phones prior to arriving at the restaurant.
I presented her a copy of my book I had written. Susan was so surprised I mentioned her in my book. I never wrote badly about her because there was nothing bad to write. I told the truth and how I became a loser and that I never blamed her for leaving me. She was so happy and excited to receive my book. I was touched.
We both ordered a shrimp salad for lunch and the waiter took our picture. We stayed for over an hour and agreed to meet at my place to introduce her to my life. We looked at our old pictures and she read back all the letters she wrote to me. The letters I wrote to her were somehow lost. Then later we drove to her place to continue our very special day. She confessed to me that it took her a couple days to check up on me over the internet. She visited my website, and she read that I quit drinking in 2003 and that I changed from my wilder days 38 years ago. I thought maybe she would either not respond to my Facebook friend request or she had to do some checking on this once-upon-a-time wild dude of the 70s. I was happy she did.
Our friendship was taking off in a positive direction. We had a good feeling how things were going. We were talking regularly on the phone for sometimes three hours at a time. We were happy just to be good friends and nothing more. When summer arrived we became best friends forever. We did things we used to when we were teenagers in love.
After I recovered from back surgery we drove down to the Oregon Coast and settled for three days at Yachats, a quiet and sleepy seaside resort. The Oregon Coast was to be our honeymoon spot back in 1975. Then later that summer we attended two rock concerts in July at Safeco Field in Seattle seeing Paul McCartney and in September we saw the Eagles at Key Arena, also in Seattle. In October we saw the Moody Blues at the Paramount Theater in Seattle. These performers were some of the ones we used to admire way back when we were one.
When winter settled in we would occasionally visit each other at our homes. We exchanged gifts at holidays and birthdays. Life was good once again. Susan always had a way of making me smile, laugh, and forgetting about things that bothered me. Our friendship really took off but we both knew we liked our relationship the way it is today-carefree without stress or complications. This was both our choice of independent living enabling us to seal our friendship forever. If it was anything more serious it might fade and wither away in time. Besides we were dating other people. We still have so much in common it's unbelievable. The only difference is that I was facing life and our relationship sober. And that was a very good thing.
The following year we celebrated our first anniversary on a sunny afternoon on April 17, 2014 at another waterfront restaurant in Tacoma. And once again we had our hostess take our picture. We swore that we would do this every year possible from now on.
In July we attended a Steely Dan concert at Mary Moore Park in Redmond, Washington. Also in July we made a road trip to Bend, Oregon, and we stayed for three days. It felt good to relax and hangout at the motel pool. We attended a concert starring Ringo Starr & His All Starr Band at the Les Schwab Amphitheater on the Deschutes River in Bend. We had great seats three rows back. And we had a great time. In August we saw the Eagles at the Tacoma Dome. In September we attended two concerts featuring Creedence Clearwater Revisited and America at the Tulalip Amphitheater in Marysville, Washington. Also in September we saw Crosby, Stills & Nash at the Chateau Ste. Michelle Winery in Woodinville, Washington. In October, we have planned to attend the Bob Dylan concert at the Paramount Theater in Seattle, and another concert in November to see the Fleetwood Mac at the Tacoma Dome. Together we attended seven concerts in 2014.
Susan and me decided we would name our reunion since the entire world knew we were hanging out together again. At least that was our fantasy. We came up with the name, Earl & Susan's Heart of the Matter Reunion Tour. Susan came up with an idea making a custom t-shirt like rock bands do. We thought of emblazing our reunion tour on the front of the shirt and on the back have the names, dates, and places where we been and the ten concerts we saw in 2013-2014. We thought this to be a tribute to our awesome reunion and friendship that will continue forever.
Good things and treasures have visited my life of sobriety. And the one thing that has been a true blessing is the friendship we have begun again-after 38 silent years. I will always remember these days as long as I have my memory. We have so many places to see, people to meet, and numerous concerts to attend. Thank you, Susan, for your friendship. It has truly been my pleasure.
Earl D. Erickson is a one-time author. His interests are to continue writing books and writing articles on the internet. In 2010, he wrote and published his first book,The Journey of an Incorrigible Alcoholic: The Paths I Chose and the Ones I Didn't.It was a very special memoir about his struggles with alcoholism, drug addiction, depression, anger, suicide, grief, and broken relationships.
Mr. Erickson, owns and manages his website at: http://www.SerenityLighthouse.com. His book can be purchased on his website, or his publisher's website at iUniverse.com, Amazon, Barnes & Nobel, and other retail bookstores online.
The most significant event that has happened in Mr. Erickson's life since he wrote this book is the reunion and close relationship of his first love, Susan, also portrayed in his book as the fictionalized name, Renee. His recovery and abstinence of alcohol, online social media, and Susan's forgiveness of his past made his life complete and happier. Mr. Erickson claims that all the stars were lined up to make all this happen. Today they both claim to be best friends forever. He insists this makes his book a happy ending to a sad story.
Mr. Erickson hobbies include writing, reading, photography, music, gardening, travel, and the great outdoors. He is a native and lifelong resident of Tacoma, Washington.
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